this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2025
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Futurama

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Rule 1: Don't be a jerkwad!

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[–] IcedRaktajino@startrek.website 69 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] charonn0@startrek.website 7 points 1 month ago

And stop sighing so much.

[–] VivianRixia@piefed.social 54 points 1 month ago

Z- This whole sector is uncharted
K- It's not uncharted. You lost the chart.

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 42 points 1 month ago

And mix these mixed nuts!! I see two almonds touching!!

[–] aarch0x40@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago

The jackass wants to see you in his quarters.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago
[–] kaitco@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’m not as big a fan of velour as you are.

[–] geekwithsoul@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago

Is that the line? I always thought it was "I don't share your love of velour" - but I've probably just been misquoting it for years.

[–] AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And it’s powered by love! …also you have to wind it.

[–] aarch0x40@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I can't wait till the tattoos on Amy's butt hear about this.

[–] HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 month ago

Sigh...."sexlexia"

[–] mercano@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

“Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents said I had too many ponies already.”

“Yes, I programmed it in for you. 4 million lines of BASIC!”

[–] teft@piefed.social 20 points 1 month ago

Show them my medal, Kif!

41GE0BZ5RyE4HBz.png

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 17 points 1 month ago

For soon, the quivering mass of life within me will depend on us both. Even now, I can sense it feeding, squirming, searching, questing. And shortly, it will rend my loins in twain, burst forth and pull us down, down, down into the deep, dark waters of commitment.

[–] Awa@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Zapp: "clear my schedule"

Kif: takes out etch-a-sketch and shakes it

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 month ago

I don't have a favorite line, but this copypasta always comes to my mind when I think about Kif:

I used to have 50,000 posts on a fucking really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board.

For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single fucking post. I remember that the other posters would say things like ‘post your penis again for me Kif’ with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my dick green).

I was basically a fucking sex slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan.

I hate that part of my life almost as bad as I hate this current one.

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 1 month ago

Precious hamburgers?

[–] y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago
[–] megaman@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 month ago

The boy, sir?