this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025
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“He did it. He threw the sandwich.”

That’s how the defense counsel for Sean Dunn, the man who threw a sub-style sandwich at a Border Patrol officer in Washington, DC, this summer began the federal trial against him Tuesday morning.

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[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It was a run-by sandwiching by a fleet-footed foot-long fling-er.

To be fair, the sandwich was loaded.

Lettuce, tomato, pickle, cheese, cucumber, onion, spinach, mushrooms, olives, bell peppers…

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fuck I want that sandwich inside me!

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 weeks ago

There is currently no limit on the amount of times the submarine sandwich can be deployed...as a breadly weapon.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

Obviously the border patrol bootlicker isn't accounting for his own scent which smells like pigshit.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

McPTSD

PTSBLT

[–] Nalivai@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

There was a similar case in Russia in 2019 when a guy threw an empty paper cup in a direction of a police line at a protest, and got arrested and was tried for it. Ultimately he was set free, 2019 was very nice time for Russia, comparatively. Will see how American justice system compares.

[–] grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one 6 points 3 weeks ago

it smelt like freedom

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Well, it was assault. Hilarious assault is still assault. As the victim, I'd be too humiliated to press charges.

[–] bookmeat@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If there's no harm there's no assault.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

We're both wrong. "Battery" is the what the charge should be. Any unwanted and "violent" touching is battery (jurisdictions vary wildly of course). "Assault" is me telling you I'm going to beat your ass. Can't believe I mixed those up. 🙄

In any case, the notion of harm is a factor, but no harm has to occur to be charged. SOURCE: Spent the weekend in jail for admitting to pushing my wife. Battery. Got off, but still, had to spend 2-days with a bunch of animals.

Never speak to the cops!

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[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 weeks ago

This failed as an assault at the grand jury level, so they had to bring out a weak ass lesser charge.

[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 weeks ago

Won’t you think of the laundry bill damnit!!

[–] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Aww diddums

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 weeks ago

im still upset he wasted a nice good panino on this scum.

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