Sombyr

joined 1 year ago
[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 22 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I got accused of that once for simply saying I didn't feel welcome on Lemmy as a woman.

Actually, that's putting it lightly. What they said was a multi paragraph tirade attempting to trigger every trauma I had or might have explicitly because they thought "unwelcome" was still too welcome and, again explicitly stated by them, they thought women should suffer.

To be fair, they were downvoted to hell then banned for what they said, but in the same thread somebody accused me of being too extreme because I said I support job fairs for women, and they were very much the opposite of downvoted.

It seems to mostly be isolated to online spaces though. I bring up these "extremist" feminist topics IRL and people act like it was so obvious I didn't even need to say it, even men.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 12 points 3 days ago

Speaking as a trans woman: This meme in particular? Just seems like lighthearted fun, using a joke to praise somebody for being a good person.
But sometimes people take it too far, and the limit for me is when it's treated like there are zero exceptions, all men are bad.
I didn't draw that line arbitrarily. I have lived experience that shows the "all men are trash" crowd are far less likely to treat me as a woman, and more likely to view me as a now vulnerable man who they have an opportunity to take revenge on. Things like laughing at me for having problems they'd be supporting other women for. My mom used to have a friend like that, who laughed and gave me the classic "welcome to being a woman" every time I brought up things like not being able to go home for a while one day because a car tried to follow me there, or when disruptions in my hormone treatment lead to pain and emotional instability.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Nowadays, it doesn't really bother me. To be fair, I lost a lot of weight recently, but that only happened when I stopped caring about my weight so much. For a long time I got stuck in a trap of worrying about my weight, which lead me to paying super close attention to what I was eating, which made me pay more attention to the slightest bit of hunger, which made me eat more because it was harder to resist knowing I felt so hungry, which looped around to making me worry about my weight more.
The solution for me was to surround myself with people who didn't care about my weight, as well as finding a doctor who didn't hound me about my weight, and only brought it up when I did to say "Yeah, you could certainly afford to lose weight, but you're already healthy."
Having so much less anxiety about it was 100% the thing that did it for me. I wouldn't even say I'm happier because I lost weight. Rather, the other way around. I lost weight because I'm happier.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Weird how men helping with house work are praised for it, yet women helping with providing and finances is somehow an affront to nature to some people.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago

In my personal experience, men understand consent perfectly well. They just pretend not to to gaslight you into believing it was a misunderstanding. There's a lot less consequences for a "misunderstanding" than a knowing violation of consent.
That's what it's really about. Escaping the consequences for their actions.

 

And an update on that hobby project from last time I posted. Swapped out the internals for a Core 2 Duo board, upgraded the GPU just a little, and switched from an XP/Linux dual boot to LMDE themed like XP, running all my games through proton. Everything now runs as smooth as I remember through my rose colored glasses 😁

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

I'd been off and on using Linux for a while, never really able to convince myself to switch and going right back to windows after every minor inconvenience. However, as soon as windows 10's end of life was announced, I went straight to linux and haven't looked back. I had a laptop I had windows 11 on and I hated it so much I refuse to ever use it again.
I run Fedora with KDE Plasma on most of my PCs now.

 

Bonus: My laptop.

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submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Sombyr@lemmy.zip to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

Honest question. I'm terrified of failure ;-;
Anyway, I know I'm not the only one who's wished hand soap was edible.

 

Edit: A few people have interpreted the title as serious, so I wanna clarify that it was meant as a sarcastic joke about how little sense the neurotypical world makes to me, but it is still legitimately me asking for help understanding said neurotypical world.

Was having a conversation with a friend today about why I seem unapproachable to people online. Apparently it's for 2 reasons.

One is that I say "K." all the time, as a short way of saying okay. She pointed out that most people find this rude and offensive. This kinda baffled me, because like why? She explained that like, if somebody were to give a long emotional speech and I just responded "K." that would be offensive. That confounds me. So it's rude in one context, and neurotypicals have decided to be offended by it in all contexts? But the reason it's rude is what confuses me more. Apparently it's considered lazy because you could have just typed out the word, but like, that applies to all text speech and nobody's mad about people shortening those words.

But it got more confusing when she explained the second reason, which is that I end all of my sentences with proper punctuation, which she said "makes people feel like I'm done with the conversation and not interested." But just a second ago improper grammar was rude, and now proper grammar is rude instead.

It baffles me. You can't just use proper or improper grammar. Use too much improper grammar and you're lazy and rude. Use too little and you're also rude. But you can't just use any improper grammar, you have to use the very specific subset of improper grammar that's been deemed acceptable and not lazy (even though it's exactly as lazy as what they do consider lazy.)

To be clear, I'm not bitter, and I'm definitely gonna adjust my behavior to hopefully seem a little less rude to people. I think that's just a nice thing to do. I just find the neurotypical mind utterly fascinating. I don't think they even realize how many contradictions exist in the social rules they all so easily accept.