this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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32m just starting to become more comfortable around women. I've just been telling myself to start small and ask how one is doing in passing. Just curious to hear from those with more experience and success with women through trial and error

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[–] WingedObsidian@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Don’t see interactions with women as goals; approach with the intention of seeing if you can be friends. Understand that women have very frequent and awkward interactions with men. Don't be afraid to show your quirky side/passions. Befriend the friends. Just shut up and listen. Follow the flow of convo and ask questions when they get excited about the things they want to talk about. Understanding that women are not going to be interested in the same things you find attractive most of the time (such that women get enough attention that they instead prioritize emotional relationships, most times not all ofc). Recognize when to step away and give space/not interested. Recognize the timing for asking her number and planning a date. Most will wait for you to take initiative.

[–] Jarix@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

shut up and listen.

That's pretty shitty advice honestly. Confidence in speaking to other people is vastly different to different people but know a subject or are passionate enough about it to geek out about it, confidence is manifested often inspite of other insecurities.

Fear and insecurity aren't always the same thing, but they both seem to be at the top of situations that people lack confidence in.

Arrogance and ego often cause an over abundance of confidence.

It's also a phrase that is a really lazy parroting of a modernist virtue signaling because it doesnt provide any real understanding of what real issue it solves or attempts to navigate.