Lemmy Shitpost
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
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2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
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3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
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4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
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5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
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Why would this apply only to girls?
cause traditionally/stereotypically feminine things are seen as stupid, useless, and cringe while masculine ones are seen as serious, deep, and respectable.
trans people also show that being a man is seen as an "upgrade" while being a woman a "downgrade" (trans men don't get a fraction of the hate trans women do). same thing with tomboys-femboys.
plus, a man and woman could do the exact same thing (being assertive for example) & the perception will be different (woman - bitch, man - boss).
If you think boys aren't ridiculed (for literally anything) you've never been to school.
So, boys, might as well do what you want.
the experiences of boys and girls in society aren't comparable.
this post is about girls, going "but what about the boys?" on it is just misogyny.
I understand the feedback because there's no need to distinguish between gender when you are talking about something as generic as personal empowerment. The post is not about girls, it's about human psychology.
I'd disagree with this. Personal empowerment is universal and applies to everyone, sure. But its nature is personal, and shaped by a multitude of factors including (but not limited to) gender. That's basically the idea behind intersectionality.
Along the various lines that make up someone's circumstances, groups can share collective barriers to their empowerment. In this case, women face specific, gender-based obstacles (men do as well, but that wasn't what was being discussed). So when you generalize a conversation about one group's particular issues, at best you derail something that would've been helpful. At worst, you end up with an "All Lives Matter" bumper sticker.
ETA: And yes, I know all people face bullying/teasing. But the nature of the bullying/teasing is not universal, nor is the impact it has on the collective empowerment of specific groups.
Huh?
"These two things I'm comparing aren't comparable!"
It's not misogyny. Maybe the experiences of boys and girls aren't comparable, but some things transcend gender, and getting ridiculed is one of them.
This post unnecessarily genders something that isn't gendered, so it makes total sense that someone would point out that it's not restricted to one gender.
Guys are used to having their experiences invalidated when it comes to this kind of stuff. "Oh, be a man. Don't be so sensitive. No one cares about your feelings. Man up, be stronger, stop being weak and then people won't make fun of you," the list goes on.
And then there's the aspect where bringing up issues that impact men always gets hit with "BUT WHAT ABOUT WOMEN?!? MEN HAVE IT SO GOOD, WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLE HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT?!?"
So when a post directly implies that "girls get ridiculed, to the exclusion of boys," it makes sense to clarify that "boys get ridiculed too."
Also, it's mostly women and girls who judge other women and girls, so trying to make that about misogyny is kind of a stretch. Men and boys get judged by men, women, boys, girls, and everyone else.
Not to mention when a woman or a girl gets made fun of, like thirty people have her back, but when a guy gets made fun of, no one cares.
Just overall, making this a gendered issue from the start was the wrong call, and the people responding by saying this affects other genders too aren't the ones unnecessarily gendering the issue.
You’re fucking right. Experiences of men and women in society are absolutely not comparable when we’re talking about societal expectations.
You’re also right that women don’t have to center every conversation around men.
I can’t believe someone told you directly this isn’t a female safe space hahaha
Boys already do what they want hahaha
The phrase “boys will be boys” is a thing that exists ffs
so why exclude men who are made fun of for feminine expression?
there are definitely socialized negative biases that specifically women deal with, but being exclusionary doesn't actually help the cause, it just narrows the audience that is allowed to relate to the cause.
and it applies in gender neutral situations, like drawing literally anything in jr.high/highschool would grant the name ____fucker, no matter the benign nature of the variable being drawn.
it's a good little rule that doesn't need to devolve into a cultural battle about which group gets to identify with it more.
i constantly talk about the atheist/mra vs feminist war which just put everyone on the defensive, destroying active efforts in fighting groups like the heritage foundation, who are now doing unimaginable systemic harm to women through destruction of academic spaces and scientific efforts around women's health largely propped up by religious fundamentalist efforts.
sometimes you have to be like "there's something specific about this group which we don't want being lost in the current conversation," but also sometimes it's good to be less rigid about which generalized group is allowed to identify with or benefit from progressive ideals.
fem guys already relate to content targeted toward women since their lived experience is closer to that than to the typical man, so no exclusion.
men often do this. post is about something women related -> "but what about the men?". we don't have a duty or obligation to include men in every single conversation. men can also create their own content/conversations, and they should. hijacking/inserting themselves just reeks of insecurity and misogyny.
edit and just to be clear: anyone who finds this post relatable is more than valid and welcome, regardless of gender. it’s just the act of explicitly turning it into a “won’t somebody please think of the men?” thing that really grinds my gears.
Quite right. I would also say there is definitely a stigma to men who do not present as fem doing the occasional fem thing, and it is more of a stigma than when a woman who generally presents fem doing the occasional male thing.
Way less, in my experience, than ever before, but definitely still there. You get less open mockery and more silent confusion these days.
Yeah a girl without makeup in a hoodie and sweaters wouldn't really raise eyebrows as much as a guy in a dress and makeup, I would bet money on that. Perhaps not as much nowadays but I'm sure it still very much exists.
Especially if you live in rural areas instead of a large city. Probably people living in L.A. etc. can reasonably disagree with this, but in general.
"fem guys" are not even the majority of guys with so called feminine interests.
It's not about a "duty to include" but there is a reasonable expectation not to exclude when there's no good reason to.
Shit like this makes my blood boil... "oh, you're struggling with acceptance and your identity? Well, people ridicule you for not adhering to what boys should be, but the best we can do is offer you stuff targeted at girls because, you know, you're essentially a girl anyway". Fuck that. And then telling me about misogyny. Ridiculous.
This isn't a female safe space. Posting something here that deliberately leaves out half the population and then complaining that people bring up the stupid line you're drawing between boys and girls where none is necessary is laughable.
They never said "the best we can do is offer you stuff targeted at girls because, you know, you're essentially a girl anyway", you did. If you think there should be more stuff for certain men, you're free to make it. If not all men relate to that content, I hope they are more capable of nuance than you seem to be. The idea that relating to the experience of another group somehow takes away from your actual identity is not how someone who has a normal relationship with their identity would work.
I date women as a woman and sometimes men will be talking specifically to other men about dating women and I will find what they say relatable. It does not make me question my gender or sexuality. I just think "wow! So true!" and move on with my day.
It's ok to have a similar experience or understanding of the world as someone else, even if they are not talking directly to or about your personal experience.
They are not drawing a line. You're welcome to comment what you like, but this is straight "so you hate waffles?" level of reasoning.
This isn’t a female safe space? Holy shit, way to tell on yourself.
It’s not just men here and this community isn’t a male safe space either. It’s a shitposting community and you couldn’t handle a woman making a post about a woman’s perspective.
Is it a safe space or is it not a safe space? Because you seem to be claiming both in one comment.
Don't gender it, it's either a yes or a no. Is it a safe space for all genders, or not a safe space for any gender?
Yes, it fucking is. It's a safe space for everyone. That's literally rule #1 in this place. Feel free to take a week off from here to learn how to be respectful.
Making a post about women doesn't - and shouldn't - mean you're excluding men. I feel like excluding should only be defined as an active attempt to prevent people from associating with the post, rather then a failure to include men and enbies and every other gender in existence in the body of the post.
I feel like leftist spaces have gotten a bit too expectant that everything relevant to an individual must be explicitly stated to be as such, rather than encouraging people to simply find relevancy even in things that are not explicitly made for them. I'm a guy, and when I read this I felt a connection with it - I didn't even think about how it only mentioned women, as if that should mean it can't apply to me.
I would rather instill a mindset in all people that would allow for situations where, for example, a man can find relevancy in a post about women, rather then try to get all people to only share content that specifically addresses who all is intended to be able to relate to it. A woman saying things are hard for women isn't making any comments about whether or not it's hard for men, just like a black guy saying black lives matter isn't making any comments about whether or not all lives matter.
Because that's their lived experience. You want to post about guys, go ahead.
No one said that it did.
It doesn’t say that it only applies to girls its a screencap of part of conversation from people we have little context about.
And “sir”
This is a shitpost community.
Yes, but why are we making fun of a guy for doing what he loves (posting "but what about men?" In a post talking about women)?
(This is a joke btw.)
If we don't make fun of him for litterally everything he does he'll never realize he has license to do what he wants
So it's trauma-dumping when a man does it, but when a woman does it it's just "a part of a conversation" or "women talking about their experiences"?
I think that double-standard is precisely what this conversation is about.
We talk about how it's an issue that men aren't allowed to talk about their problems or their feelings, but that's clearly just an abstract idea to some people because when men actually do try to talk about those things, it's always the same reaction.
Not at all…
It just appears rather obvious from that text that Asetru their anger against op came from a very specific personal injustice done to them. Channeling it in such way where you direct anger at a demographic is toxic, regardless of gender.
I do disagree a lot with how op responded, they where over reacting in a similar way, i didn’t call them out because the longer this ordeal went on the more people seemed to prove that they have a real point to be frustrated about it.
You did prove the same thing. My comment isn’t gender specific, i don’t know what Astetru identifies as (thats part why i put the sir is in quotes) any gender can argue in favour of any gender. That is not that unusual.
And yet you perceived it as directed at one gender and came in with a “but what about the other gender”
I really didn’t want to believe that this “always happens” but the evidence here says it either is or this is targeted trolling against op.
Girls was meant in a gender neutral way obv
OP: I like waffles.
YOU: oh so you hate pancakes?
OP: No man. WTF are you talking about? Those are 2 different things.
It doesn't, and they did not say it did.
Why not? Girls and boys face different social dynamics
Akshullee, they didn't say it did - just that girls get "made fun of over everything." I don't have the correct parts to validate that, however.