Nah. They're shopping for a third.
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More specifically, a handmaid.
What type of... handjobs?
The kind of jobs where you use your hands to do all of their housework for them for free while bearing the husband's children.
Nah, they're Mormons. They're actually this crazy
Spencer definitely wants to film his wife being nailed by another man
He wants to be the one to jump on the bed.
We can only assume that if soaking isn't premarital sex, then it can't be extramarital sex either.
Good for Spencer.
I'll go to your church, you come to my orgy. Fair is fair, right?
Imagine the uproar if you went to a church and said "you're so prudish, you need to fuck more, come to Tinder."
Joseph Smith: "No need to make them exclusive."
Oh sweet summer child.
The church IS the orgy. Now here, have some Kool aid, we're going to see the face of God together.
I'd love an orgy, but not with little boys.
I'll pass.
Liar, this is Flavor Aid.
If I saw this in the wild, I'd immediately hire the most attractive single person I could find to reply to this ad, go to church with them, and low-key try to have sex with either/both of them on the side
my partner and I did some butthole fingering at midnight up against a church the year we started dating
we’ve been together for 13 years
thank you jesus
Weird way of looking for a threesome with another threesome but okay.
But you guys will put out after Church, right?
During.
They did don some crazy underwear in anticipation of the event. Also, polyamory is definitely on the table if they're true to their founder's beliefs and actions.
Don't sully polyamory with the misogyny that is polygamy. They want multiple wives to have multiple women to control
*this is a real offer to cum with us!!
With Jesus' little extra
I'm willing to go to church on her, not interested in the guy though
Give him a chance. He just wants to watch.
i dont care if you call him "little extra jesus", spencer, PUT HIM AWAY IN CHURCH
Disgusting.
I've got nothing against their kind per se, but do they have to shove it down our throats?
Kinda. The most powerful, fastest growing and largest religions seem to depend on aggressive proselytizing.
The problem is they are Mormon so they can’t save your soul
Look, we’re all looking for a unicorn. This seems like one of the least effective ways to do it.
Counterpoint: Unicorns famously love virgins
If you are young enough, church and tinder end up serving the same use so the concept isn't that crazy.
Lol, they are looking for at least a third (at the mildest kink), no preferences on the gender.