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You were merely displaying dominance with your drump truck, a common mating ritual at the hardware store.

That's a power move, you have to go back, frequently. You own this place now

I skedaddle the fuck out of there, cheeks red. I can never return.

as long as you didn't say "climb aboard" while smacking your ass and follow it up with a horse click, I think you're ok.

a few weeks ago I farted while asking for the check at a restaurant. it was not on purpose, I was actually having the worst gas pain ever at that precise moment and struggling to maintain composure until I could get outside. my efforts failed at the worst moment.

anyway, I was back there a week later.

grace is an illusion.

I skedaddle the fuck out of there, cheeks red. I can never return.

I think the poetry of this final line is executed perfectly, the fact that both cheeks (face and ass) are possibly red in this scenario and the reader is left to interpret which one the author is currently talking about really speaks about society and the way we interpret our own reactions to events afterwards. Excellent, just excellent.

Oh good. I just had one of these, too. I'm in Japan and wanted coffee. After a few blocks not seeing any dedicated coffee places, I decided a convenience store would suffice. They have the coffee gadgettron 9000 with no coffee cups in sight. I figured the machine would supply the cup as well, or if not, at least sense that there wasn't a cup in place before it started pissing its own pants with coffee. Neither was the case. After failing to find a pause/cancel button, I summoned my inner skeleton and just walked out.