this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon visits a coworker (europe.pub)
submitted 2 years ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

To anyone who is in the position of anon, the task is simple, just spend time with them. Treat them like people, which is what they are, instead of something to be won or to be won over.

Mutual respect, common principles, and a spark is all that's really needed. Understand that while you may be interested, they might not be. Would you really want to be with someone who doesn't genuinely want to be with you? Probably not, so just keep going. You'll get that spark eventually and things will kick off. Until then, be a good person and treat everyone with respect.

The whole confidence game is a bit misleading too. Confidence comes from being proud of yourself, more than anything. If you're not proud of yourself, perhaps that's an area to improve. Do things that you'll be proud of, and become someone who is confident in the process. Understand that not everyone will be impressed by your achievements, and that's ok. It's not a competition.

Any person who will shame others for their interests probably aren't worth knowing.

If you have serious struggles with confidence and relationships, there's no shame in seeking help with the council of a friend or from a professional.

Be well.

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

To anyone who is in the position of anon, the task is simple, just spend time with them. Treat them like people, which is what they are, instead of something to be won or to be won over.

For OP, who is lacking massively in experience with both intergender emotional connections as well as intergender physical intimacy, your methods are unlikely to work anymore. Most age-appropriate women for him are going to be looking for an experienced man, and will be revolted by his lack of experience.

And yes, even my wife (46) confirmed this in a recent conversation last year, and she’s pretty darn progressive. Beyond a certain age - usually around 22, but it differs with each woman - most women start getting turned off by any inexperience a man might have with emotional and physical intimacy. By this age, women begin to want and prefer an experienced man who has proven his worth with prior relationships.

Why? Because an older man without experience practically screams “I am an exceptionally poor choice for you” precisely because no other woman has decided to take a chance on him -- this is an actual preselection sexual strategy found in almost all women.

Sure, he might still find someone. But at his age, the likelihood that he’ll be chosen for any reason other than being an ATM and/or a surrogate father to children who aren’t his, is statistically about as close to 0% as he can get. He has about as much chance of finding a truly good and loving woman (who is still single, childless, and not below the half-plus-seven rule) as he does winning the Powerball several times in a row.

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

You start off strong and then go fully off the incel cliff at the end there

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com -1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

A 22 year old that's married with a house?

Lol

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 1 points 2 years ago

Just said his house. At no point did I interpret this to mean he owned it. If your a renter you still refer to it a my house when inviting people over.

[–] FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I feel like the idea that women are otherworldly creatures instead of people and seeing someone being nice to their partner as "the man having tamed a female and convinced her to treat him well" has a lot to do with his problem.

I hate how much that is preserved socially, there's no good reason why that hasn't gone away at least a decade or two ago.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Where was there talk of taming women?

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

There wasn't. FierroGamer got way too many upvotes for his stupid comment.

[–] FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Cool! I didn't know I was getting good numbers. That's how I read the thing but you're welcome to disagree, I certainly don't read "convinced a woman to touch him gently" as someone recognizing the woman is a person who might've chosen to do so without convincing the same way she chose to rub his shoulders too.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz -1 points 2 years ago

OOP is a 30yo forever alone virgin posting to 4chan, I think this kind of perception of women is par for the course. At least the outcome wasn't totally terrible and he walked away without offending anyone, probably the best we could hope for.

[–] FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 years ago

There wasn't, that's what it sounded like to me, you're welcome to disagree, angrily if you feel like it.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com -1 points 2 years ago

Right around when he referred to her as a "free masseuse".

[–] clearleaf@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Of course people want make this guy into ultra Hitler and blame the situation entirely on him.

[–] FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 years ago

If it wasn't clear, I wasn't saying he's the most horrible person in the world but rather that his issue is most likely linked to the way he sees women.

I also could've sworn I made a point about it being a societal issue rather than just that individual's

[–] chaosppe@lemmy.world -1 points 2 years ago

Totally agree. I've been in a relationship for 5 years now, and it most definitely didnt involve me trying to tame her 🤣

It was just luck to meet. We both liked each other. That's literally it.

[–] yata@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 years ago

It definitely reeks of incel energy, which is unsurprising considering the source.