First...I am NOT an anti-meds person, but I don't believe that everyone should just be on them. My friend has schizophrenia and absolutely needs her meds. It's scary when she's off them because of how negatively it impacts her life.
I called out of work one day due to having an issue and in desperation made a same day appointment with a psych NP. I was surprised at how immediate and quick she was to be like "hey sure yeah you can try meds if you want". They diagnosed me with the generic "depression and anxiety" and when from there.
Well the NP immediately quit after that and they transferred me to a new NP, who has continued to prescribe different meds for me. I also recently started therapy.
With the first med I tried (an SSRI), I continued to have my episodes, so I initially thought it had zero effect. In retrospect, I do think it slightly lowered my anxiety (but not enough to really do anything). Coming off them was unpleasant and I had another episode that may have threatened my job. I'm not sure if the episode was related to the med reduction or not.
My NP specifically stated that I do NOT have bipolar disorder, but that she wanted to try lamotrigine with me. I have been slowly over many months titrating up to my therapeutic goal dose and reached it a couple weeks ago.
She also recently prescribed me PRN propranolol which I also don't know if it has any effect. I very rarely get panic attacks. My NP's idea was that if I have a stressful that happen that day to take it so I am theoretically less inclined to have an outburst of some sort later. Again, I'm not sure if this is really doing anything for me. I don't notice an effect.
I know propranolol is preventative instead of used during or after, but I can't always predict when a trigger may occur.
My episodes generally begin with a trigger. So if there are no triggers, I have minimal/no issues. The triggers are not 24/7 and there are sometimes many weeks in between. So how tf am I supposed to tell if the medication does anything???
My issue: extreme negative emotions/spiraling generally tied to a trigger; can cause me want to self harm or do dangerous things, can sometimes cause outbursts at work which threaten work interpersonal relationships and my job. For the most part, my episodes occur outside of work and I am usually (but obviously not always) able to keep it together). So it can be very distressing and unpleasant to live with...but again it's not 24/7.
Sorry that was long!!!
Are you doing therapy? I’ve found that meds can be useful (when you need them to regulate your brain chemistry), but at the end of the day you want to build skills for resilience in stressful periods of life. My first therapy goals were (are) identifying my triggers and expanding my window of tolerance to be able to work through them
Yeah I started maybe like last month. Have been on the meds for like 6 months.
Awesome - I suspect that's going to be a huge part of the 'way through' (in a long term sense). The quick fixes just aren't there, in my experience.
After years and about 5 different therapists, I still don't really know how to judge how well it's working (the client therapist relationship), but it takes time for each of you to click together, as well as time for them to be more insightful about how you respond and what approach or tools will benefit you specifically.
Its good when it's working - hang in there!
I had years of SSRIs and SNRIs and eventually decided the side effects weren't worth the benefits for me. But life had improved by then too, so I wasn't completely white-knuckling it. Hard to say how much was circumstances changing vs my responses and thinking patterns.
The reality is we're messy and it's ALL intertwined...
Tbh I never entirely wanted to be meds long term...because I think 1. My life stress is just incredibly high right now and 2. My issues could eventually be mostly greatly reduced (but never entirely resolved) by therapy.
But therapy is a slow as fuck process and I'm wondering if I'm in a state where meds are "needed" as an adjunct to therapy and how to tell they are even working.
I tolerated SSRIs just fine tbh. Was exhausted initially, but once I got used to them I felt totally normal. The presence or absence of sexual side effects were not something I would ever be able to ascertain because I had never had a libido or the ability to feel sexual pleasure my entire life even before trying SSRIs. But I know it's one of the most significant SSRI side effect for many.
While the SSRIs did seem to marginally help in certain areas, they didn't at all touch on my main issue or make me more resilient to it or make it easier to tackle or anything.
I'm in therapy now to help with the mental side of things. I know that ultimately that will work best.
But yeah it's gonna take a damn long time...so I just don't know how to know if in the meantime if meds are needed for me as an adjunct treatment to therapy or how to know if they are doing anything.
Its a quandary for sure. Technically it's a discussion between you and the psychiatrist who's trained in how the meds work (not your psychologist/therapist who typically has no training with medication)
In my experience, I had a huge blind spot regarding their efficacy. It was my partner that people were listening to which I found really strange
Yeah lol I have heard that often it's a lot better for family/friends to be able to tell than yourself! I live alone so I don't have people to really notice that haha.
Like I have a friend with schizophrenia. When she sometimes decides she doesn't need any meds anymore, it's VERY obvious!!