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Please don’t do this.
It makes servers and cooks feel like customers are lying to them when someone tells them they have an allergy. So when some little kid with a life-threatening nut allergy comes in, they might not get taken seriously.
The other issue is that with an allergy (vs a food preference) many kitchens are required to use completely different pots and pans and utensils, gumming up the line, because even a speck of an allergen can cause serious harm.
I can’t stand cilantro either and I’m agreeing that it sucks when restaurants ignore you and should send the food back each time. Just please don’t make it harder for people with life-threatening allergies.
Then they shouldn't ignore customers to begin with
Listen, you seem like a reasonable person and have some kind of medical-sounding username, so I will re-emphasize this: it’s a medical issue. Little kids (and even grown adults) with severe food allergies have a big struggle in getting taken seriously. I have had to take two separate people to the ER for anaphylaxis from food allergies, both seemed so minor and both turned out to have been life-threatening. One was a toddler.
You can make a small positive difference in their lives by inconveniencing yourself here.
I agree that it’s the fault of the restaurant and not yours that it’s like this, and I agree that they should be more vigilant with all allergies.
But unintended victims of crying wolf isn’t so much you or the restaurant workers, it’s allergic people who might die.