this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 308 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Its "I only speak english and bad english" you uncultured fuck

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 58 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 43 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] merdaverse@lemmy.zip 34 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Asfalttikyntaja@sopuli.xyz 18 points 2 weeks ago

Ah, that’s where the name comes.

[–] Captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You mean, wash-your-sister-sauce?!

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You can really taste the anchovy!

I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Probably your sister.

~I’ll show myself out.~

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago

"Subparest" when you wanna sound fancy

[–] Captain_Buddha@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

...I think they're quoting 'the fifth Element' up there.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Ironically, that movie is French.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

14 and edgy English yo.

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Boom! Big bada boom!