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Any good selfhosted instant messaging? (lemmy.zip)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by N0cT4rtle@lemmy.zip to c/selfhosted@lemmy.world

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Can you guys suggest some reliable and secure selfhosted IM service? I'm kinda in a very bad spot right now, so any centralized messaging wouldn't really work. And yeah, state sponsored mass surveillance is a question of concern. Sorry for odd phrasing, just really at a loss.

I heard of matrix, XMPP (heard good things about snikket.org), SimpleX and even some IRC wizardry over TOR. And I actually tried matrix (synapse server), but found it not reliable enough - sometimes skips a notification, periodic troubles with logging in, weird lack of voice calls on mobile client, and some other irritating, tiny hiccups. I'm open to any suggestion, really, even open to trying matrix once again. Just, please, describe why you think one option is better than the other.

And just FYI, use case is simply texting with friends and family, while avoiding state monitoring. Nothing nefarious

Update: Thank you, everyone! After some discussions with the lads, we decided to use XMPP (Prosody) as our main server, we also chose to use DeltaChat as a fallback. Both working great for a couple of days now. Again, thank you, everyone, for suggestions (and configs :) ), really helped me out

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[–] poVoq@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That you think Gajim looks like it was build in 2001 tells me you haven't used XMPP in quite a while 😅

[–] lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 months ago

Ooh they upgraded? Yeah my information is based on early 2025 when I tried it aha