"your HP subscription is about to expire, would you like to renew it? BTW, that's a nice house you've got there, it would be a shame if something were to happened to it."

[–] lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

Brb, buying every model of HP printer (gotta get a chance at going first, if you don't shoot you can't score)

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

That's not from lack of desire, but ability.

[–] artifex@piefed.social 14 points 2 weeks ago

The spirit is willing, but the cord is short.

[–] brap@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Man, imagine a printer with arms. You’re not surviving the night.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 3 points 2 weeks ago

I got a shotgun, though. I think I've got a chance.

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There was a bug in HP printers that let people remotely set them on fire.

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 2 points 2 weeks ago

No, see, we only call it a bug if it isn't meant to be in the software. In this case, it's a feature.

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 9 points 2 weeks ago

While telling you it can't open the door because it's out of magenta.

[–] fitgse@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago

In the early 2000s my hp printer had a paper jam and the error message from cups was “printer on fire!”

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

I’ve never had my printer murder motorcyclists

But I suspect it would if it could.