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I think I just worded myself poorly. What I meant is that all identities include and exclude because that's just the nature of categorization. Identity, as a concept, only exist in the abstract. It only exists in people's minds, and therefore, it has no rigid edges because psychology and no rigid edges. This is because identities, including collective identities, are defined subjectively by individuals. When an identity is codified and enforced, it stops being abstract and becomes an ideology because you're trying structure society around a particular set of views. Ideologies are what rigid edges, segregate, and isolate.
For example, there's nothing inherently wrong with defining being German as being ethnically German. That's the standard definition of ethnic and national identity for most of human history. It only becomes a problem when an ideology comes in, boxes the identity with a strict definition, codifies this definition as the only one that's allowed, and enforces it by trying to get rid of anybody who strays from it. That's how you get the Nazis. The identity got stripped down to the arbitrary and subjective views of a few individuals who tried to impose them on everyone else. Somebody can identity as ethnically German and live with other ethnicities in peace.