this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2026
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Comic Strips

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Web Accessibility

Note: This is not a rule, but a helpful suggestion.

When posting images, you should strive to add alt-text for screen readers to use to describe the image you're posting:

Another helpful thing to do is to provide a transcription of the text in your images, as well as brief descriptions of what's going on. (example)

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ALT Text: Scene is WAITROSE. Behind it is a staff member, whose name we will soon learn is BECKY. She is dealing with a customer, for now out of shot, while talking to her manager on the phone.

BECKY [on phone]: Yeah, hiya...

2 BECKY: Yes I have a customer here who wants to complain about the Easter eggs.

3 BECKY [putting hand over receiver while addressing the customer stood at the desk in front of her]: Sorry what was your name again?

4 [Pull back to show the customer is a very tall, green-skinned, PAGAN GODDESS, festooned with flowers. Stood next to her is her son, a normal human teenager in a hoodie, who looks mortified by his mum.]

PAGAN GODDESS: Eostre the Pagan Goddess of Fertility

5 BECKY Sorry - Your name is Easter…?

PAGAN GODDESS: Eostre.

6

[Vicky pauses, trying to take this in].

VICKY: Your name is Easter and you want to complain about the Easter eggs.

7 PAGAN GODDESS: Sorry love, what’s your name?

BECKY: Becky

PAGAN GODDESS: Well, Vicky -

8 PAGAN GODDESS: If it was you who’d shagged the solar god of the Equinox to give birth to an actual living god - my son Darren here -

TEENAGE BOY: Muuum…

9 PAGAN GODDESS: ….only to have all your efforts totally forgotten by history, you’d have a complaint too!

10 PAGAN GODDESS: Aisle four is full of products, with no hint of the true meaning of the festival!

11 BECKY: You mean… Jesus…?

PAGAN GODDESS: I mean shagging, Vicky.

12 PAGAN GODDESS: Is it too much to see just a little bit of pre-Christian sex in Aisle 4?

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 77 points 1 week ago (1 children)

transcription for the visually impaired?

Baaaased

[–] SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Slightly differs from the actual comic, though.

"Give birth to Spring itself" and "hang on, Spring" vs "give birth to an actual living god - my son Darren here"

And ends with TEENAGE BOY: MUUUUM

[–] ech@lemmy.ca 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Methinks it was generated. Shame.

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I got the comic and the Alt Text from this mastodon post which specifically says the author does the alt text himself. I couldn’t find evidence of that though I didn’t look tooooo hard…

[–] ech@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Hmmm, maybe they were going off an earlier script *shrug*

[–] SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz 8 points 1 week ago

Entirely plausible.

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It also says he's a "normal human teenager," which he clearly is not.

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[–] Tiresia@slrpnk.net 71 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What better way to symbolize shagging in a kid-friendly way than an egg hunt? Look at all those little sperms go, trying to find the egg as quickly as possible after all being released at the same time?

[–] starchylemming@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's a nice idea, but eggs were associated with the Christian Easter (Pascha in Latin, which is roughly the name for Easter in most countries that celebrate it), probably as a custom from Persia going through to what's now Eastern Orthodoxy and from there to Catholics/Protestants as a way to celebrate the end of Lent (eggs being prohibited during that time). It's still possible it was also Pagan and forgotten, decorating eggs is at least 60k years old, but its association with Easter was only (re-?) initiated through Christianity.

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[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 70 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I love the passive-aggressive move of Ēostre intentionally getting Becky's name wrong in return

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Vicky had it coming tbh…

[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 31 points 1 week ago
[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Think of all of the millions that Christians butchered over this... then, they destroyed every single trace of any other religion, erasing centuries of cultural history.

Today, Catholics alone own over 170 million acres of land, much of it stolen from those same people, and they enjoy tax-free status all over the world. Horrifying.

[–] ech@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 week ago

That's not even a checkout line, so the man behind Spring is just there to watch the drama.

[–] rapchee@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

"normal human teenager" hmmmmmmmm

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Was eoster really worshipped? I thought they were just made up.

[–] Davel23@fedia.io 66 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fun Fact: They're all made up.

[–] cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 week ago (6 children)

🤣.

This will sound insensitive but I look at the Bible like I look at Harry Potter or Lord of the rings.

[–] addiks@feddit.org 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Be careful saying things like that, you might summon the wrath of the zealots upon yourself. Lord of the Rings fans are not to be messed with.

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[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That is really insensitive, how could you say that about LOTR?

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Nah. The bible is more like Robin Hood or Asterix.

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[–] metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There's some evidence Eostre (or Ostara, Austra, definitely Aušrinė in Lithuania) was worshipped, but the evidence is scant and mostly based on linguistic reconstruction by Grimm in the 19th century. There is evidence of votive offerings to the "Austriahenae" (a collection of matron goddesses) discovered in 1958, but little else.

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