"Oh, well this gun costs less than your watch, and yet: hand it over."

You spend this much money for a watch that can't even turn a deer into roadkill? Your loss.

“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”

I wouldn't even hide that watch up my ass.

So you are fiscally irresponsible and you are proud of it? Good to know…

"Yes, your fancy jewelry is very pretty. Good job."

Edit: after I stopped laughing, of course.

I can afford not to have a watch.

What is it for?

neat

don't. make a "oh poor guy" face and move on. he wants you to engage, to be angry, if you don't he will be mad

A lot of replies here still wander into sounding mad imo Instead, I would fake not getting the insult and just make them uncomfortable by saying something like "Wow that's cool :D" and then just move on. Sort of like when you acknowledge a child doing something dumb but they're so proud of it you don't want to ruin it for them.

steals his watch

Imagine not being able to tell the time by just looking up

That's not a very high bar, boomer.

'I can think of many better uses for the metals in that watch.'

this movie, glengarry glen ross, was so fucking good. definitely worth a watch if you enjoy watching masterpiece acting. kevin spacey is in it though (his acting is great he just sucks as a person)

Your pathetic status symbols only show how anxious and insecure you are.

Will your regular charge you half price when she doesn't see you wearing it?

Quite a low bar considering that I don't need a car of my own.

Has this one done it? or how many such watches in do you get to be happy?

Jokes on you, with the deferred maintenance, my car has negative worth.

Such frivolous spenditure will rot your money. Decay of your father's fortune and your child's kingdom. Begotten by weak flesh and temptation, coward from strength.

Even the homeless know to not show your power before you speak, or your trades will be levied against you.

"Okay and does it tell the time?"

Smile and say "it's very pretty".

So you could have donated that money to a food bank or homeless shelter and gotten a tax break. Or you could have just kept it and invested in dividend paying stock, but instead you spent it on a watch that tells you the same time as my $20 watch?

"My wealth is in stocks"

Bragging is lower-class behavior

seems like a giant waste of money when you have phone that has the time on it.