Cutting water actually does something though. It literally moves the water around. Praying on the other hand...
this post was submitted on 31 May 2026
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Unless the people praying are the problem. Then at least they stop and do nothing for a little while.
Nothing fails like prayer.
Anthony Jeselnik said it best in his show Thoughts And Prayers:
This is who I’m making fun of when I make a joke on Twitter the day of a tragedy.
The people who see something horrible happen in the world and they run to the Internet. And they run to their social media, Facebook, Twitter, whatever they got. And they all write down the exact same thing: “My thoughts and prayers…” “My thoughts and prayers with the people in Aurora.” “My thoughts and prayers with the families in Boston.”
Do you know what that’s worth? Fucking nothing. Fucking less than nothing. Less than nothing. You are not giving any of your time, your money or even your compassion. All you are doing, all you are doing, is saying, “Don’t forget about me today.” “Don’t forget about me.” “Lots of crazy distractions in the news, but don’t forget how sad I am.”
Those people are worthless and they deserve to be made fun of. They’re like a wedding photographer who only takes selfies.
(Split into paragraphs for easier reading, but otherwise unchanged from the original transcript)