this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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[–] FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 190 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 117 points 2 months ago

Tony lacks imagination.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or Tony is, like me, a human who takes pride in his work.

[–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Look, there isn't always going to be someone there kicking Tony's ass.

Tony better stfu.

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[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 166 points 2 months ago (1 children)

For robot blow jobs, Tony. You fucking idiot.

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 46 points 2 months ago (5 children)

you can do so much more with tongues

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh yeah forgot about rim jobs. Fucking Tony

[–] hemmes@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

Don’t forget the balls!

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[–] FlihpFlorp@piefed.zip 110 points 2 months ago (9 children)

What a fascinating combination of posts

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[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 67 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Stamps. Flipping pages. Unattended ice cream. Windows. Linda.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 36 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] wewbull@feddit.uk 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)
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[–] laut_sprecher@feddit.org 13 points 2 months ago

And here i was operating windows with my mouse all this time…

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 65 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Imagine setting this this for a nice long dick lick every couple seconds until it's been an hour and you're just quivering from the sheer excitement that with the next lick or the one after that you're finally going to shoot the biggest ropes of your life and just at the point the ai embedded in it asks for your credit card information so it can charge you twenty bucks to cum?

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 50 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

If this kind of Pay Per Cum business model worked, hypno content creators would have already capitalized on it

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

Sponsored by OnlyFans.

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[–] Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

Eh that wouldn't work on me. Being told that I can't cum kinda causes it... And if I've been getting edged for a while, yeah vocals can be enough. Violently.

I guess I'd have cucked the machine? Is that a new sub-genre of kink? What a weird world we live in.

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[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 53 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nice. Now llm can literally eat my ass.

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[–] crazycraw@crazypeople.online 51 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Tony does not understand vaginas.

Don't be like Tony.

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

✨ Abracadussy, you're now a pussy! ✨

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[–] Etterra@discuss.online 27 points 2 months ago

Well you see, when a person gets very lonely...

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago (6 children)
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[–] bl4ckp1xx13@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 2 months ago

Tony too innocent for this world. 🥀

[–] napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

For post stamps, obviously.

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[–] Geldaran@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)
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[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Tony doesn’t know about the tootsie-pop, smh

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[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Pushing ever closer to robot sex while their birth rate is falling off a cliff.

Of course, they're also working on artificial wombs, so who the hell knows where all this is leading?

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[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Bidets are about to see a new evolution.

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[–] Homo_Erectus@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

LIVE HOMO ERECTUS REACTION

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[–] muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago

Those of us that know, know

[–] unitedwithme@lemmy.today 15 points 2 months ago

To get to the center of that Tootsie Pop, of course!

[–] isekaihero@ani.social 15 points 2 months ago

I can't wait to buy my anime waifu bot.

[–] roserose56@lemmy.zip 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Blowjob and pussy licking.

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[–] Melatoninmakake@feddit.org 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I do have a couple of thousand ideas. None of them is NSFW...

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[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

God damn it Tony.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmings.world 10 points 2 months ago

Lick your elbow?

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

It's to count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop

[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hopefully they have no teeth

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

women would probably love it

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 9 points 2 months ago

How much time ya got, buddy?

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

To figure out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!

“I have no teeth, yet I must bite.” — the robot, probably

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