I hear you. I grew up catholic and then had the but I am gay fall out. I don’t think I will ever come back to Christianity simply because the church itself seems poised at adhering to old values that don’t adapt to the world we live in now. I’ve been dating someone raised as Quaker and it does seem like this religion strips all of the catholic BS.
That being said I’ve found solace in eastern philosophy and spirituality. Namely Buddhism. I like the idea that they believe in science and what they see. If I can disprove a point with science, according to the Dali lama he is able to change the way he thinks. I was raised in western society and value science in helping me understand the world. I have been going to zen temple and find it wonderful to have community, where we meet to meditate and explore our lives to be more mindful and be more present in our lives.
They do have a vastly different view on “death and the after life.”
Don’t worry about an after life, live your life in the present moment. We are all connected, even your pets that passed away, they ,might have passed but when they did they again became party of everything. Or maybe they will enter rebirth into another being I might come across and why it might be nice to treat any and every body as if they had been your furry friend.
Spirituality can be beautiful and fulfilling. Don’t let organized religion ruin it for you
-a spiritual atheist