this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Heavybell@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Not bad. My favourite of these is where he's holding a random DC power pack.

[–] kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Tape it to the underside, thank yourself when you're taking it apart and already packed or lost your tools

[–] jcg@halubilo.social 3 points 1 day ago

I do this with loose screws and bolts as well.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 52 points 3 days ago

Flat pack furniture has been propping up the hex stock industry for decades now.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

here's a tip. take some painters tape and tape the tools to the bottom of the thing you put together so it's always there when you need to tighten or dismantle it for moving.

[–] MadPsyentist@lemmy.nz 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

or have a toolbox so everytime you need to loosen or tighten absolutly anything in the house its in one spot. The toolbox.

[–] zephiriz@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes but what weird proprietary tool thing goes with what weird off brand IKEA wana be proprietary piece of furniture. You think I got time to try everything in the tool bag no I'm just grab the Phillips and strip the fuck.out of whatever it is get mad then glue it. Get mad that doesn't work then chuck it out the window. /s Do I need to say this?

[–] afox@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] zephiriz@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago

The desk that is glued together in my room?

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

you must live alone.

thing with toolboxes and other people, shit is always missing or never put back away.

[–] blackjam_alex@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Help. I need tungsten to live.

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 2 days ago

Makes sense, you keep the furniture too after all

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

> Eyeballs a hex screw to tighten up a door handle
> Grabs a likely suspect out of the drawer
> Doesn't work
> Gets another
> Doesn't work
> Third time's a charm
> Doesn't work
> Gets the full set of hex keys in the same room as the drawer

"Hey hon, the door handle's fixed."

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[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

his name is allen

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

i used to have so many of these things, then they disappeared. Mabye there's a ghost in here who has ghost ikea furniture.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They are programmed to return to the factory after 5mo. Can't waste that shareholder value letting it sit in some drawer weighing down our Q3 report.

[–] bigbabybilly@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

I hate that they include these. But only since I built a home with 2 workshops and filled them with quality tools. 20 year old me was thankful for these shitty Allen keys.

[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I throw them at birds I don't like.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago (7 children)

You know.....birds are actually very intelligent. And some of them actually are very good at remembering faces.

Crows will even teach their young who they trust, and who to divebomb.

Now you may be thinking that I'm going to say that crows teach their young to poop on your car. But that's not true. Birds don't have a spincter. Which means they can't close their butthole.

Basically if a bird has to poop, there is a 100% chance they are pooping right now. So no. Birds cannot target you with their poop.

What they can do however is refuse to send you an invitation to the social event of the season. The "Going South Gala". Where we all gather at the park, and engage in random groupings of people to perform oral sex on each other while birds watch and rate our performances. And thats not even to speak of the grandest gathering of the year, The Grand Big Ball. We get 1000 guys, and 2000 girls. The girls group up, two to a guy. One girl on each ball. And they suck and lick, and compete with each other over who's the BJ queen.

Then the birds all rate the girls. The girl with the lowest score is then divebombed by all the birds until she's dead. What? You never heard of a murder of crows before? Oh what am I saying? You don't get to go to The Grand Big Ball!

Silly me!

[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 23 points 3 days ago (2 children)

*Throws hex wrench at you*

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hey there! Hi there! Ho there!

[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

You can't dodge my never ending supply of hex wrenches forever!

[–] MohamedMoney@feddit.org 5 points 2 days ago

They gotta learn how to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge

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The Gala's still alright I guess(even though it skews pretty old) but the Ball has been over-hyped for like 10 years now. The whole thing has gone corporate and the vibe isn't the same, fucking ads everywhere.

[–] notabot@piefed.social 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We need more of this sort of content in the fediverse; slightly mad, hinting at esoteric knowledge, and promising to lift the veil on hithro unknown worlds.

In short, I need to know more about the secret lives of high society avians.

Well it wouldn't be secret if we told you

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[–] BilSabab@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

I was shocked when i found a box full of them. Just couldn't comprehend how many of them can be. Probably 50 if not more. If you pack it in a sock - it would knock someone out.

And then my dad said - you think we bought all that furniture in one go? That shelf - one. That bookcase - one. That bed table - three and so on. Years later when we moved out to our new apartment and started buying new furniture - i noticed that these wrenches keep on piling up naturally.

[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Shrubbery@piefed.social 16 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] Mercury@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Very nice. Now let's see Paul Allen's key.

[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Doesn't stop me from calling every set of motor-driven stairs an "Escalator".

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May be a trademark, but it's a generic trademark

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

No no no. Throw that away, first thing you do. Have a driver set with every size Allen key, you insert bit into a screwdriver handle and it ratchets. No more bloody knuckles, or pulling it out every turn because your key hits another part. Makes furniture go together so much faster.

[–] The_v@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Almost there..

A small cordless drill with a torque setting plus a driver set. A short flexible bit holder for the tight spots.

Drop the torque setting all the way down then use the drill for most of the work. Then finish tightening with a reacheting screwdriver.

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Between the size of the drill and the constant adjusting of torque I really prefer hand tools here. You can feel when the screws and cams are in place.

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I bought a $15 cordless screwdriver for this exact reason and it’s great. No need to drag out the whole 18v drill but it makes fastening things much quicker and the built in torque limiter means I can cinch every bolt in a chair up to the same spec easily.

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[–] JeanValjean@piefed.social 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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[–] gerowen@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

And they're always the softest mild steel they could find so it'll cam out, destroy the head on a bolt and force you to go dig your good one out anyway.

They'll save your good one from 10 or so uses, and if there's just 4 screws you can keep one and use when the next item has 16.

Or cut the cammed-out part for a shorter one with 10 more uses!

[–] Headofthebored@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

softest cheese.

[–] sorrybookbroke@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I ductape it to the furnature when possible so if I need it it's there

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[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

heh, I just dug one of those out of the scrap bucket and epoxied it into a drain plug in my truck that I finished rounding out in spectacular fashion.

I wasn't the asshole who started rounding it, but I sure was the asshole that finished the job. Replacement with an actual hex head on it is sitting on the workbench. No more water trap woes if the cheap hex wrench stays glued in that fucked up part

edit: it worked great. The plug had dielectric corrosion (steel plug in a mag/alum body) and at first I thought I just tightened it up too much but nope, I felt that rust break, saw the removal of material on the plug itself once it was all the way out, and I'm sure it's in the secondary fuel filter now. Replaced with a brass plug that had a 19mm hex head on it so no more worries. Big wrench, little torque kinda thing - it's the o-ring that makes the seal, not the torque.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I JB Welded a sawed off Allen wrench to my shitty Amazon bipod last week. Now it's "quick release"!

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[–] flandish@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (4 children)

file a side flat and boom instant (hand) router blade.

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[–] pet1t@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Cleaned up my garage yesterday. Found about 15 of them, I guess

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

If you don't have a dozen 1.5mm hex wrenches, is you life even worth living?

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