Blowjob?
this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2025
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take a massive liquid shit in the trashcan and maintain eye contact the whole time while humming or singing "I've been working on the railroad".
Try to set up the interviewer with my friend "who isn't as bad as they say"
Actually as someone who does sometimes do interviews: acting like an asshole with a big ego will wreck your chances big time.
I cough into my hand as I reach out to greet them and fart loudly as I make eye contact while shaking their hand.
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(2 replies)
"Pull my finger"!
What? Thats easy?
"Hi what's your name?"
"Suck yo grandpas wrinkley wang on a Wednesday!" And walk out. Done.
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(1 replies)
Options:
Vomit all over the interviewer's desk.
Act crazy and shout random stuff in German, made worse by the fact that my German is dogshit
Pretend that I'm in a theater play (ie Romeo and juliet) and start dramatically acting a role, etc.
Get my dick out. If it doesn't ruin the interview I'll run away anyway - who would want to work in a company where such a behaviour is okay?
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Tell them I could do the interview better than them
Call them to say I found a better job.
No, I don't show up. Just call at the exact time the interview starts.
Whip it out and piss on the desk.
"The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races" --Homer Simpson (OK the quote was about getting out of jury duty but I think it fits here)
Can we first just check out the salary?