Asklemmy

Sometimes you hang out in a bar and you see a group of people (usually a pair) and you maybe want to ask only one of them for their number.

How do you go on about this?

I always feel kind of weird, because if I were to hang out with a friend and somebody were to randomly ask them out specifically, surely I'll be happy for them, but especially if this were a regular reoccurrence my own self esteem would probably take a hit from that. I don't want to put somebody else through that.

Nowadays nobody ever goes out alone, especially not in bars. And if they do, they're usually not in an approachable state. In general there seem to be less and less appropriate places or moments to approach people. Isolating somebody or waiting for them to be alone also feels borderline predatory. I know that it became nigh-impossible for relationships to naturally form out of nowhere, but I really don't want to resort to dating apps or something of that matter.

Also, what if you're maybe interested in both people. You can't just ask "And what about you, are you interested too?" That'd just be awfull for everyone. But maybe you would've had a better response if you would'be asked the other person first and now you'll never find out.

I really hate to be somebody who excludes people especially in a conversation but this seems to be the only area were this is actualy unavoidable.