I'm an anarchist and I am active in anarchist organizing because it gives me hope. It makes me feel empowered because I get the feeling that I can influence the way how things go and start building a better future right here and now.
I don't how much you know about anarchism, but the strand I ascribe to is social anarchism and we aim to build communities that are driven by mutual understanding, mutual respect and mutual aid and that organize themselves without hierarchies. We're often confronted with prejudices like "anarchism is too idealistic" or "that won't work on a bigger scale" but many people don't know that we are one of the only political groups that actually do build working structures in the present (while other ideologies such as Marxist-Leninism often get bogged down in theoretical discussions and reading circles) and I can tell you, the anarchist movement is blooming right now.
The anarchist movement was pretty much defeated by the fascists of the early 20th century but as of late, the movement is revitalizing and quickly expanding in the last few years. Hope is there, we just have to go and get it.
If you want to learn more about anarchism, there is plenty of resources around. There is the anarchist library (https://theanarchistlibrary.org/special/index) which is also available in many other languages, if you're first language isn't English. Some great introductory works are "Anarchy" by Errico Malatesta or "Are We Good Enough?" by Peter Kropotkin but there are loads of great material on there, you can just dive right in.
There are also some great YouTube channels, my two favourites that are explicitly anarchist are Andrewism (https://www.youtube.com/@Andrewism) and Anark (https://www.youtube.com/@Anark). Andrewism is probably the most active anarchist YouTuber around and he does amazing work from a Solarpunk and decolonial perspective. Anark is probably one of the greatest anarchist theorists we currently have with his wickedly amazing "A Modern Anarchism" series.
You're welcome! I'm happy that you refuse defeat and look for a hope! Also, I forgot to mention that you of course can also look for anarchist organizations near you preferably especifist/platformist anarchist organizations. Unfortunately, there aren't many (yet) but they are often very ambitious and active on social media and the streets and usually provide insight into their work.