Transfem

Hi all,

I’m going on a backpacking trip in a month, and the only tucking underwear I’ve ever heard of is LeoLines and TomboyX, but I might as well ask if there’s anything else. Bonus points if it uses a material like merino wool.

I use both brands for normal daily use, but Leolines is made from cotton and TomboyX is polyester, both of which are not great for temperature and odor control during outdoor trips.

Tucking the old-school way sounds super confusing, so I’d rather not resort to that.

Well, so yesterday night i had tthe "luck" of getting to feel what depersonalisation and derealisation (DPDR) actually feels like.

I got woken up in the middle of the night to do something quite short and i almost instantly realise "Something aint right. Everything feels weird". And then slowly I realised, what it was that I felt. It felt like I was watching someone control my body. If I wanted to lift my arm Icould "feel" felt how my brain sended the command to my body execute, and suddenly my arm moved. I felt like my true self was a few centimeters below my skin, waiting to get released from its fleshy vehicle. Everything i touched felt like i touched it with a quite big glove on. If I walked i felt like watching a stream of my body moving while sitting somewhere else with a VR Headset. Luckyly it faded away quite fast, after I was finished with what I had to do (it took 5 Minutes at max) and laid back in an attempt to sleep (which of course didnt work that well, since my mind was still processing the experience it just had).

This was devinetively the weirdest experience I had in my lifetime.

I recently asked this community how you experience dysporia, however it seemed like no one had the same "symptoms" that i am currently experiencing and Im not really sure what it is.

Currently it happens somewhat regularly that I feel like someone ripped a gigantic hole into my chest. It is this type of hole that cant be filled. It devinetively is caused by my quite big desire to be a woman. So becoming what i dream of is the only way of combating this. "The hole" (I named it the void) fluctuates quite a lot in intensity. sometimes its relatively small and on other days it feels like an flesh made nightmare that you cant escape. There are the feelings of needles punctuating my chest or the feeling of an iron ring, thats wrapped around my chest that i have to fight against with every breath. Whenever the void appears, it is guarded by this huge desire to transform into a woman.

Currently I dont really experience the typical symptoms of dysphoria (hating yourself/your body...). I only sometimes have it, that when i look into a mirror, that I cant really connect to the face staring back at me. This lack of obvious signs of dysphoria is the reason, why i am starting to think, that what I experiience is my bodys way of manifesting dysphoria.

Edit to save you the effort of typing:
I have devinetively come to the conclusion that I Am trans. I have accepted it and i am actively working towarda my transition, slow but steadily. You also dont have to recommend the Gender Dysphoria Bible, since I have already read it. I have also watched the video series about MTF folks by the transition channel. I am just absolutely confused what this is, that I Am experiencing. I will try to find a therapist.

Well, the egg "cracked" I guess. After 24 years, I've realized that I'm ~~probably~~ NB or trans. Looking back, I think that for a long while now, there's been something in the back of my mind. Like a seed of doubt. I can think of any number of things that could've contributed to it. And it's weird to me because I haven't really felt any dysphoria, at least I can't think of anything off the top of my head. But I know that there's something off.

But anyway, over last weekend I was thinking about it a lot and after I came to that conclusion it was like this buzzing in my head that I hadn't realized was there went quiet. And now that I know that... I have no fucking clue what happens next. The only people that know are close friends and I will absolutely not be letting anyone else who knows me know. HRT may be a very long ways (potentially 2 years, haven't looked into it too much yet) away depending on a pending federal job.

the label and the manufacturer of my een say not to expose it to light. what happens if it is? last week i did my injection, but forgot about the warning and was holding it up near my bathroom light while i drew the needle. is it still safe/effective? tonight's my next shot, probably should have asked sooner :P

edit: only realized my mistake after finishing the injection and noticing the label had turned red

edit 2: pic of the label bein red

edit 3: got a pretty quick reply from the manufacturer. label turning red/black is normal actually, from heat/moisture, which makes sense. also according to the manufacturer, the e is slightly pink: normal for mct oil when exposed to light, but as long as it doesn't get worse it should be fine.

Yesterday I was in a car accident. I'm really OK (some mild brain injury and bruising), the car is not.

I had gone running, so I was wearing a t-shirt and leggings with an athletic skirt to cover my bits, I had no makeup on and was perhaps the least feminine I could be.

What surprised me was that the EMTs, firemen, and police all saw and interacted with me me as a woman, and not in that "being polite" way that some trans affirming liberals can be, I just think they had no idea I was trans. My gender survived even having to talk to the emergency responders, answering questions, etc.

In some sense none of this is new, people on the phone have correctly gendered me as a woman for maybe six months, but it doesn't stop my brain worms from making me hear a boy. Likewise with countless interactions in public now where people seem to see a woman. Still, all I see in a mirror is a boy most days.

In the ER, the nurses and office workers all assumed I was a woman. I was asked twice by the doctors if there was any possibility I could be currently pregnant.

All I'm saying is that yesterday was one of the most gender affirming days in my life. I don't think if they suspected I was trans they would treat me the way I was treated, I just managed to seamlessly navigate the world in ways that I never thought was going to be possible. It's not real to me, but I'm definitely just going to keep replaying those interactions over and over again. Maybe it will sink in.

Less than a year ago, the equivalent experience would have been very difficult, I was very much not passing and I looked like a man dressed as a woman to most people. I assumed it was just going to be like that the rest of my life, and that's still what it's like in my head.

I felt pretty emotional about it yesterday, about the culmination of so many hours put into voice training, struggling without a sense of hope about the future and arriving here anyway. I feel like I owe the trans community my whole life.

Well, as the title says, I Am curious what Dysphoria feels like for you? When/how did you realise, that certain feelings are in reality Dysphoria?

Edit: Damn, some of you really have lived through a lot. I Am very happy that I can't really relate to quite some of the comments here, because that sounds horrible.

So I got home and was taking off my makeup. In the mirror I saw a girl taking off her makeup, and I thought, I wish that was me.

That is all.

I keep thinking about the experience of feeling body envy towards cis women. Since I cracked my egg I've started to notice I have two distinct sets of feelings towards cis women, which can sometimes overlap, one being romantic/sexual desire and the other being envy for their body and femininity. I think for a long time I conflated those feelings and thought I felt sexual desire towards women who really I just wanted to be, and at other yet more unfortunate times didn't recognize my sexual desire for someone as such due to the lack of envy. It's made me wonder how much of my sexual life and awakening has been colored by my desire to be the women I thought I just wanted to bone. Definitely some at least.

Title. Does anyone have advice? I can find jeans long enough no problem, tall options are fine. But anytime I find an appropriate waist measurement (~35") the hip measurement is 7-8" larger than mine.

Edit: to clarify, I would want a little extra in the hips to help give the impression of, well, hips. But 8 extra inches seems excessive.

My name is Cyara Kaira. I’m a transgender woman, human rights activist, and asylum seeker currently living in South Sudan. Right now, my community and I are facing an incredibly urgent and dangerous situation.

War has broken out in South Sudan, and the violence is just a few kilometers from where I stay. Every day, the fear grows stronger. We can hear gunfire in the distance. We don’t know if we’ll be safe tomorrow.

One of my sisters is very sick, and we’re struggling to get her the care she needs. On top of that, we urgently need to stock up on food and basic supplies, as the situation is worsening and access to resources is becoming harder by the day.

I’m reaching out to ask for your help. Any donation, no matter how small, can make a big difference. Your support could help us survive this crisis with food, medicine, and a chance at safety.

Please consider sharing this as well. Every little bit helps.

https://gofund.me/bd40a4f9

My name is Cyara Kaira. I’m a transgender woman, human rights activist, and asylum seeker currently living in South Sudan. Right now, my community and I are facing an incredibly urgent and dangerous situation.

War has broken out in South Sudan, and the violence is just a few kilometers from where I stay. Every day, the fear grows stronger. We can hear gunfire in the distance. We don’t know if we’ll be safe tomorrow.

One of my sisters is very sick, and we’re struggling to get her the care she needs. On top of that, we urgently need to stock up on food and basic supplies, as the situation is worsening and access to resources is becoming harder by the day.

I’m reaching out to ask for your help. Any donation, no matter how small, can make a big difference. Your support could help us survive this crisis with food, medicine, and a chance at safety.

Please consider sharing this as well. Every little bit helps.

https://gofund.me/bd40a4f9

content warning, I'm going to be glib and talk about misogyny and transphobia in a joking manner - I don't mean to harm anyone, and I don't want to upset anyone.

OK hear me out: trans-exclusionary radical feminists, at least the actual radfems who are often middle-aged and still stuck in second-wave feminism, should love gender-affirming care ... doesn't it do exactly what they would love to do to men? Like, a lot of these women are cultural feminists, they essentialise men and women and view women as superior and men as inherently violent, oppressive, and bad. At least that's been my experience.

So, for example, if a man wants to suppress testosterone and take estrogen, shouldn't TERFs' fear about violence from men and the (admittedly simplistic) narrative that testosterone is responsible for that violence and aggression motivate them to embrace enabling as many men as possible to suppress their testosterone and chemically castrate themselves with estrogen?

Even if they don't believe that makes the man a woman, shouldn't they believe it's an improvement?

It just sounds like a revenge fever-dream concocted by second-wave lesbian separatist: a woman goes about secretly injecting abusive men with estrogen to calm them down ... it just sounds like a revenge fantasy they would be into.

The plot of The Gate to Women's Country literally centers around this fantasy of castrating men to make "good" men.

And if that's not compelling, I know they love the stories about chopping off dicks - come on, if they really believe trans women are a bunch of men, shouldn't they support access to gender-affirming care like vaginoplasties that do exactly that?

TERFs should support gender-affirming care even if they don't believe trans women are women. If men are the enemy they should be the biggest fans of chemically castrating and cutting the dicks off men.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Earlier this week I went to see my therapist like I usually do and today I told her that I'd like to start HRT sooner rather than later, I know that people sometimes wait months if not years before starting but I'm not okay with waiting that long. Unfortunately she said that she wasn't sure it would be a good idea and that I should wait longer to be sure. I told her I wasn't waiting and that if she didn't write the note for me I'm going the DIY route, and she told me that that would be a very bad idea since she believes I would regret it due to my unwillingness to "fully girlmode" (which just means she thinks me wearing makeup and having long hair alone isn't enough) and the fact that I enjoy many manly things like bodybuilding. I for some reason mentioned that I could stop after I got the permanent changes I wanted and she responded that if I'm already considering detransitioning it's not a good idea. What the fuck? How the fuck is stopping HRT later detransitioning? That made me so pissed off that I told her to fuck off and I just left early.

I took the advice of someone and decided to go to planned parenthood and just like that I have officially begun my journey. Kinda wish I'd done this sooner, I could've been 3 months along by now if I hadn't tried to go through my therapist like a dumbass. Shame though, I did like her, she seemed nice for a long time but I don't think I can continue to see her anymore if she thinks after all I've told her that I'm in any way at risk of "de-transitioning".

Moral of the story kids, do DIY. It's better to ask for forgiveness than wait for permission. Also be really careful how you choose your therapists, they might seem to understand you but they can screw you over in the last second.

Hi y’all - how much can someone expect male pattern baldness to reverse on HRT? I’m 29 and still have a pretty full head of hair, and it’s getting pretty long (at my shoulders, now!), but I can definitely tell my hairline is receding, especially in the upper corners. It’s probably not too obvious, but I’m very self conscious about it. I haven’t started HRT yet, although I want to soon. How much hair regrowth might I be able to expect, if any? I’m not inherently opposed to doing something like hair plugs if I have to, but I’d prefer to avoid it if I can

been taking estradiol enanthate via subq injection for the past 3 weeks, 0.15 ml every 7 days. i haven't really felt anything different tho... is it too soon to tell? im not on t blockers, mainly bc im still closeted, but i thought by now id feel some change by now

I posted this in the wrong meme community. Reposting here.

I'm AMAB who has always felt a little uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm decently comfortable occupying my body, but I do wish it was easier/more acceptable to transition. I had a dream last night that I was at a doctor's office and I was starting HRT. It has put me in a funk all day.

To be honest, I consider myself fluid enough to continue identifying as a man to anyone but myself. I just wish I could live two lives. Or go back and make the decision to transition when I was younger. I am a stereotypical guy: hairier than not, chubbier than not, deep brow, gnarled hands, etc. I don't really think I could ever feel truly "woman enough" to feel comfortable trying out the other side of the gender spectrum. I've tried growing my hair, piercing my ears, and wearing a teeny bit of eye liner, but it just never looked right on me. I just looked a bit weird.

I'm venting here to hopefully deal with the funky vibes my dream gave me. I've never been this open with any audience: virtual or physical. So, apologies if this is coming off a bit transphobic in any way.

It finally happened. I lost so much weight that my tungsten-carbide wedding band doesn't fit anymore. It's definitely a 'masculine' design and felt like a good idea at the time. But since that material can't be resized and all the add-on sizing options are still too big, I'm at a loss for what to do. My spouse and I are still absolutely happily married and intend to remain that way. If anything, I think we've grown closer since I came out! I don't want to simply discard something that means so much to us both. I was hoping to hold out on buying a new one until my transition got to a point to renew our vows with my new name (and in a gorgeous dress!) but I'm curious if anyone else has been through this before? I was considering a necklace to hold onto it until then. I was about to type that I didn't want others to get the wrong impression about us (me with no ring, my spouse with the engagement ring and the band) out together but then I realized we're likely going to get awkward looks for a while anyway.

So, what do others think? What have you done if you've reached this point? Am I overthinking this?

Hi ! I don't often make posts but I thought about making one here because I feel like sharing what's on my chest.

I'm 27, I started HRT almost 4 months ago, and there is no denying that this was the best decision I took. Sadly, because of that, my life has become so chaotic.

Around 6y ago I met a girl I thought I would spend a lifetime with. I moved in Switzerland (originally from Belgium) after long distance relationship. With her I felt invincible. We broke up a few months ago, shortly after I realised I was trans.

The breakup, the dysphoria, having to look for a roommate, and I'm far from family ... That broke me.

Today I'm doing better. I'm still healing from the breakup, I get panic attacks from dysphoria but I can handle it, and I have a sweet roommate.

I'm currently looking for a new job where I can present at my true self and would like to find love again. Those are my current goals.

Afterall, my life is not bad at all. I have many friends who support me. My lovely family is a bit far away but we chat very often over the phone. And yet I feel exhausted, lonely, unmotivated. I want to find stability again, this feeling of being invincible.

As the title says, today I managed to call my friend and basically have my coming out. As expected he was basically like "nice. Got a new name or something I have to be careful about?" (I currently havent decided on anything yet) The talk felt good and it devinetively helped a little bit with the hate for myself and I no longer feel absolutely terrible all the time. I still feel kinda terrible due to the feeling of having a hole ripped in my chest, but it devinetively got better after that.

Navigating through a grocery store
Every step careful and monitored
Unmade eye contact prevents dirty looks back
Or at least, the acknowledgement of

The public sentiment is against us
Or maybe the public sentiment is for us
No one really knows but all we know is
The humans out there can't really be trusted

They look at us with pity and with despair
Like we're blasphemy, like we're abomination
Like we should have never awakened ourselves
And they don't talk to us, not willingly

The law is against us, binding and forceful
For our existence undermines their basic truth
About self-conception and what it means to be
And we are the targets of incredible anger

And so I keep my eyes forward and I move
With intention and swiftness, undistractable
Until I am distracted, not by another, no
But by one like me.

She carries telltale signs that she is of me
A look in the eyes, a scar on the arms,
A turn of the chin, a deepseated trauma
And she starts a quick wordless transmission

One quick turn of the head, either up or down
A learned nod from the past that's still useful
Gigabytes of history, of passion, of care
Of despair, of hope, of fear and of trust

Transmitted from one to another, one motion
The others who are not us could not do this
A wordless transmit back, a downward shake
And she has my history and my trust and my care

And with such a quiet symbol that we stole
We took this from them and we misused it
We robbed the others of its intention and
We made it our own, yet some of us say no

The others may see the symbol, this nod
They know we stole it and by using it
The others clearly know that we are not them
But we don't need to be them, We are Us.

Last time I posted I was in the process of figuring out a new place to live. Just wanted to check in and say I made the move and I'm okay. It was hard, and maybe not exactly as far as I wanted but it's better than the deep south. I'm making friends and have decent work. Hopefully life will be kind. Community is helping me a lot. Posting a photo I took this morning while slacking off and feeling cute. HRT for 1.5 years now.

Throwaway Account, here we go. So i think the egg finally cracked enough for me to accept, that Im trans. The thought has crossed my mind quite regularly in the past few weeks. Everything started with when I took LSD about 5 weeks ago and I was able to catch a thought that crossed my mind regarding my appreciation for female clothing (skirts etc.). It was "Acts trans, looks trans[I bought myself a skirt a few days prior to this], probably is trans". My stupid ass of course was like "Nahhhh, I dont like such thoughts i may think about this once my brain isnt fried anymore" (guess what didnt happen). Since then there was this little nagging voice in my head always asking me "Are you sure you arent trans", but I always just kept it silent saying "I will figure it out with the time", without really thinking about if the voice maybe didnt have a point. I have been back at my parents house for about 4 weeks(since the semester is now over) now and in that time i catched myself think quite regularly how much I miss wearing my skirt and such stuff. Today the egg finally cracked. The voice that I may be trans has been getting extra loud the past few days, which led to me going on YouTube today searching for how/when people realised they are trans and watching some more videos of a mtf creator. This led to an unholy quest of doomscrolling r/egg_irl and @egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone and hating how much i could relate to a lot of this content. I could really feel how the barriers to acceptance fell while seeing this content. And now, im sitting here, writing this post and absolutely hating myself because I absolutely do not like this realisation and thinking about how this will change my life remembering a lot of stuff dating back years of my life and thinking to myself "You stupid idiot really thought these kind of thoughts were normal?". Additionally to the hate about why I cant just be normal like everyone else I now additionally have these very intense cravings to start transitioning. It makes life quite shit, knowing what you want, but currently nut being able to come anywhere close to it. Luckily Im currently in a position where i am quite sure, that when/if i finally come out i wont face that much (or probably little to zero) backlash over this. My family will probably not be super supportive (its not in their "nature"), but they will probably accept it. My close friend group wont have any problems at all and only roasting me with some phrases like "Remeber when I said you will turn into a femboy 2 years ago and you idiot denied that? Look what happened to you.". Only problem may be some of my friends from my hometown who are more conservative, but I guess/hope that they will be fine, since they arent really right or so, just uninformed about a lot of topics. My biggest fear would probably be my music orchestra, because there are quite a lot of older people and in my village about 50% voted for our "conservative" party (They are far right, especially in term of immigration, but dont have the balls to admit it), but to be fair a lot of these 50% are probably people who dont even know other parties exist, since theyve been voting for them the whole time. This would probably one of the hardest losses, if i had to cut ties with them, since i really like playing there and having to deal with a lot of people who dont accept me the way I am wouldnt be worth it.

Thanks for reading my vent, because I really had to get this off my chest, but currently dont have the balls to talk about this with a friend and I want to wait at least a few weeks before doing so to be sure.

Edit: Thanks everyone for the kind words. I devinetively needed this.

new contrapoints just dropped