Transfem

Hey everybody, sorry, I couldn't think of a more fitting title. I feel the need to share my mental progress. After a long time of thinking "maybe I am - just eventually - transgender", I decided to go down the rabbit hole a few days ago. It was a very suppressed thought and it took me quite some strength to overcome it. I peeked in the mtf community and discovered the gender dysphoria Bible. And I ingested it. Every bit felt like it's describing me directly. And that's filling me with very mixed feelings. Obviously one is fear. I am 30 years old. Am married and have three kids. I'm worried about my own future, as well as the future of my closest. But there is also a feeling of euphoria in the background. Some weird feeling that's telling me it's right and everything is going to be good. That feeling is guiding me in unknown directions. When I was buying groceries today, I felt a surprising confidence in my thoughts. But that also got me to a situation I did not expect. When I first saw my own reflection, I didn't see myself. Previously, my only thoughts about my reflection were not that bad, I was mainly dissatisfied by my looks. This was different. And that brought me to the decision to for now change my online representation. For now, just in this small area of my life, I am a woman. And that feels pretty right.

So I'm basically doing an autism deep-dive into endocrinology at the moment and I came across this study, which suggests that

There have been good results in recent research to inhibit the generator of pulsatile secretion of GnRH necessary for ovulation by using melatonin in a new type of oral contraceptive.

As far as I understand from this article, GnRH basically stimulates biological hormone production (testosterone & LH in biological men; progesterone and estrogen in biological women).

If melatonin reduces GnRH production to such a level that it may even be used as a contraceptive, I cannot help but wonder, if any of you remember any supplementary (gender affirming) effects if you have taken melatonin before or during replacement hormone therapy?

It would be way better to not have society be going through a moral panic about trans people at the same time I’m coming to terms with my trans-ness. I feel like I’d have to struggle with self-acceptance a lot less if I didn’t know that a large percentage of society hates me without knowing a thing about me. I don’t want to have to change out of my girl clothes or take off my makeup because I need to take my dog for a walk around the apartment complex, and I don’t know how my neighbors would treat a visibly trans person. I don’t want to have to worry about when the incongruity between my appearance and my passport is going to become a problem. (Setting aside that now for all my gender markers across documents to match, I can’t change any of them, and they’ll have to stay wrong). I don’t want to have to worry about losing friends or family or my job because I come out to them. I just want to live life being fully myself - what’s so wrong with that?

My mom forced me to come out to her, but she was accepting and encouraged me to come out to my dad and I was very very surprised be he was also accepting.

I'm really happy at that outcome, I'm so excited, I get to wear the clothes I want now, I don't have to hide it anymore, I get to tell them what I'm feeling, what's actually going on, where I'm actually going, who my friends really are, and I get to actually be me around them.

I just wanted to share that celebration with y'all

Seeing those thin women that sooo have that hourglass shape.

OR even just those women with noticeable hips! Ugh! I feel so jealous! I wish I could do HRT, but with everything going on, I feel like it's safer to put it off, especially since my disphoria isn't too severe at.

Just a vent, I guess.

Hi ladies! Today CheeseToastie created a new community for women's interests (makeup, skincare, health, nail polish, etc). I've agreed to share it around so if you're interested, come join us at !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al

(Mods, if this type of post isn't allowed, my apologies!)

I just recently had some awful DM harassment from a transphobic idiot who told me that I was pretending to be trans. It was dealt with but I'm still left wondering. Why do some people believe that we would pretend to be trans? What do they think someone would gain by "pretending" to be trans. It just seems so stupid because I've dealt with so much oppression and people invalidating me my whole life, and yet they still think I'm pretending to be trans for some some reason...? Why? What the fuck does someone gain from pretending to be trans? This makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

Sorry for this rant, I really needed to get this off my chest.

Just went through some work stress, gender dysphoria crisis (transitioning is soo scary with a right-wing family x.x) and autism struggles today... currently listening to this smooth jazz song and having a beer to calm down

On a positive note: I installed Fedora on my little Optiplex today and I'm currently backing up my photo memories from the past twelve years from iCloud to leave yet another tech conglomerate :)

How has your day been?

I'm 30, transfem, and to be quite honest, I feel my will to live slowly slipping away. I'm trying to find the willpower to finish my PhD thesis and to get into a better living situation after that, but I find myself frozen and wanting to curl up into a tiny ball of nothingness instead. And there are LOTS of reasons for that, mostly centered around trauma, guilt, and shame.

I don't think I can fit everything I need to say in a succinct post, so if it isn't against the rules, would any of you fellow girlies be willing to shoot me a DM and give some advice? I don't think I can really explain without having a back-and-forth conversation... thanks in advance. 🏳️‍⚧️💜

Hey girls and friends!

I am kinda timid even if I really like social contact, and for most of my life I have mostly had guy friends. I guess it's because it's easier to approach and be approched by guys when you whole body says that you are a guy... Also I was a student in computer science so there are mostly guys. Essentially my close-friends group is mostly trans girls and non-binary AFAB and guys. It's been a bit of an anxiety of mine that cis women wouldn't see me as a woman, but as a kinda creepy guy....

This week I contacted an old girl-friend of mine from Highschool and suggested that we had a drink since we hadn't seen each other in years. I also came out by message. The discussion at the bar was great and it was basically the first time that a cis woman welcomed me into womanhood. She discussed about how being a woman was awesome and that I will love it. This is so great. I have essentially never had a AFAB person tell me how womanhood is great, only about how bad it is.

Yesterday I attended another social event and the few girls there also treated me as one of their own. So yay, I place this week under the umbrella of "Being accepted by cis girls" and I love it! Much acceptance and validation <3

How's it for you? How was your week?

Feel free to suggest in the comments :) Just looking for something relatable to listen to while commuting or doing household chores xx

I was surprised by how much I've changed in the last month. And in this photo I look so different compared to when I look in the mirror.

Right now I'm at 11 months HRT and had 12 laser hair removal sessions. I'm 32 years old and you can check out my profile for any previous progress pics.

Bank person: Can I see some ID please?
Me: (Hands over driver's license with old photo)
Bank person: (Checks)
Bank person: Err.
Bank person: (Checks some more)
Bank person: Is this your husband?

I'm going to be grinning about this all week :3

Hello fellow everyone my name is CyaraKaira transgender woman originally from Uganda… I fled my home country due persecution that resulted from the Anti-homosexual bill. I fled to Kenya where I was put in a refugee camp. Here I faced a lot of persecution more than what I faced from my home country. I beaten several times, stripped naked, cut with machetes andremovedd on several occasions. My life was really hell that I had to flee to South Sudan a war country and mostly with hostile people. You may ask I chose this country it’s because I had no choice honestly but it was the nearest to where I was. I’m currently facing lots of challenges including lack of food and medication. I have been sick for week now but have no help. I will be glad for your support to access medication any donations will mean a lot. I’m also will to share my story because I have a lot to share. Thank you

https://gofund.me/bd40a4f9

Sorry, this is pretty much just me venting, but it is related to me being trans.

Anyways, I got my first pair of women's glasses yesterday. I was very excited and euphoric, but I somehow managed to scratch them today while I was fiddling with the nose pads. Fortunately the eyeglass place has a warranty for lens scratches, but I unfortunately had to use it less than 24 hours after getting my glasses. They said they have never seen an adult scratch their glasses that fast...

I also have a hearing soon to get my legal sex changed however I also have jury duty. I had called the court a while back to see if I could reschedule and they basically said that it's my problem, not theirs, and now that it is getting close to time, I am freaking out because idk what I'm going to do if they call me in when I have my hearing.

On top of that, I also have midterms this week so I'm stressed out from that as well. I just drank the last of my alcohol, but unfortunately maladaptive coping mechanisms aren't actually that effective (Who would have thought).

Makes me feel super dysphoric - currently I already have a discernible M shape on my forehead (short-medium hair ATM, growing it out) -.- Any tips on what I can do before going on hormones? Could that hair grow back once I'm on them? Any hairstyling advice?

[Engagement from anyone welcome]

Context, informed consent is a thing here and I will likely be starting HRT in the next month or two. Here is what my thought process has been for the last year since beginning to socially transition, although very slowly.

• I should buy feminine clothes
• I don't want to have to buy new clothes once my measurements (hopefully) change from HRT
• I will wait to buy feminine clothes

• I should practice makeup
• Makeup makes dysphoria worse
• I should start HRT / look into FFS
• I will wait to practice makeup

• I should start HRT
• I haven't earned that; I don't dress or present fem
• Kick can down the road for HRT

The good news is I called a doctor last week to schedule the appointment! So things are progressing. Just wanted to see if any guys, gals, or pals have had a similar experience with their transition, or seen someone else go through that.

I LOVE WEARING A SKIRT

MY LEGS ARE SMOOTH AND SWISHING A SKIRT IS SO GOOD

I FEEL SO FEMININE AND I LOVE IT

AHHHHHH EUPHORIA

I've been in therapy for a few months and I really want to start HRT soon but I don't know if my therapist will write me the required letter. If she doesn't by the end of this month I'm going to start doing DIY, is there anything I should know about the process before I get started, anything I should be aware of? Are there risks or side effects. Things that I should be aware of before going in

P.S. Don't give me any of that crap about detransitioning, you don't know me well enough to say I would, frankly I'll never call myself a boy again, not of my own volition or to capitulate to others.

Edit: Thank you all so much for the information and resources, sorry if I wasn't able to respond to people's comments sooner, things have been hard and I've been busy lately.

New to the community, but lurking for ever and stuck inside my egg for the past decade. I finally hit the wall where I was either going to come out or break down. So far, I'm super lucky to have a fantastic and understanding spouse who has my back, but that's literally the extent of my support network. I've always been pretty shy and impersonal, so I have a very tiny friend group. That said, I'm over 40 and can't wait to transition any longer. I just can't seem to find any physicians in my area that I don't think will either deny me care or treat me like I'm a liar. I'm fine with going straight to an endochrinoligist and signing an informed consent, but I really think I should see a therapist or counselor about some things I've been struggling with. I'm just having a difficult time of knowing who I can and can't trust, and I don't really have anyone around to ask. The only out transfem I know is a professional acquaintance and I'm way too scared to out myself to her yet. I've gone through most of the publicly available lists and tools for finding practitioners but they either don't take my insurance or don't cover my area. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? I want to get started so badly because I feel like I already missed out on so much of life as my true self, but the roadblock now seems to be that I can't even trust my family physician to know who I really am.

its been 5 years.

fuck.

I've wanted to transition for a 4th of my life now and I still don't have enough control over my life to be me.

i would probably hate myself so much less if i had started hrt and transitioning when i wanted to.

rant over ill probably delete this post i just needed to vent im sorry

Some choice quotes from the last time I saw a thread like this:

• When I was 8 someone told me that girls go to college to get more knowledge, and boys go to jupiter to get more stupider. And obviously I took that personally ReverendPancakes
• I grew bewbs from the COVID vaccine and decided it was easier to just run with it. DepressivesBrot
• Smaller hitboxes Fantasygoria
• I drank tap water and soy milk.
• life was too easy, so i increased the difficulty setting and this is what happened hdj103
• Clearly because women have such an easier time in life DrHob0
• According to my Mormon ultra right wing father: I have an infatuation with the female body and was bitten by the social contagion bug and there is no cure. The reasoning for this belief is I once told him I don't think that people who watch porn are bad/going to hell, and I didn't see it as a problem for someone to watch it. So to recap. I watched porn. Saw naked woman. Went wow v pretty I wanna look like that. Then took hormones👍 mist_wraith_
• I personally felt that my safe access to public bathrooms was too damn high froglipsmulligan
• I couldn't get a goth gf so I became the goth gf A_Sneaky_Dickens
• Better bouyancy when swimming Blah-Blah-Blah-2023
• To bring down western civilization. MyynMyyn
• Because I was a hitman for organized crime but I got caught. Transitioning was my only option when I went into witness protection when I ratted out my employers. Dakotaisapotato
• So I can balance my phone on my boobs instead of having to hold it when I’m relaxing and watching YouTube Somethingintheway245
• I wanted to study tiddy jiggle physics for animation purposes DaAwesomeNeko
• Um, girls rule, boys drool, duh. MyconautAlien
• I signed up for a trial gender & forgot to cancel. Better_Image_5859
• There were too many dudes in my field (engineering) so I got auto-balanced. Cassie_Darkborn
• So I'd be less embarrassed when choosing a female character in games. throwaway_eclipse1
• A drag queen started reading a book out loud while I was in the same room. ATransFemalePerson
• My eyelashes were too long to not corncrakey
• To get cheaper auto insurance rates 👍 Various_Ad_4533
• Because that shark plushie was just too damn cute not to buy 🏳️‍⚧️🦈 KingOfRedLlamas
• I started programming and just accidentally became a girl. swiftsorceress
• I used a bunch of drugs and wanted to move on to something harder. So I started taking estrogen. Kept chasing the high. Oops, now I have tits and an ass. FecalAlgebra
• I wanted conservatives to have strong opinions on what I do with my body. ususetq
• Because I sarcastically said "well I have the legs for it" every time the prospect of me wearing women's clothing came up in conversation in high school. I had to continue the bit. MC_White_Thunder
• No one ever talked to me at the bar and I got tired of buying my own drinks.
• Because I got infected with “The Gay(tm)” as I have no agency of my own SpicyNovaMaria
• I accidentally checked the wrong box on the presurgical paperwork and woke up with boobs Wzd_JA
• In case I have to kill the Witch-king of Angmar SmoothSoup