this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2025
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Lol no, these people are mostly flunkies who couldn't meet the standards for military or actual police. Remember, ICE had been on a massive hiring kick.
They are about to hire thousands more. Think about the type of person who would apply for that job. It's not going to be people who want to help immigrants navigate the system, it's going to be people who want to hurt minorities.
Seems we could use a few thousand decent people to join ICE and start exercising some of the ideally non-violent techniques found in the CIA's civilian sabotage field manual from WW2.
"Oh shit. Sorry boss. I thought this ICE van ran on diesel fuel, not gasoline."
"Ah crap, I left the door to the detention van unlocked and all the prisoners ran away!"
"What do you mean I'm lazy and unproductive? I've been at every one of our raids. Just because I didn't apprehend anyone myself, doesn't mean I wasn't working."
"Look, I'm just being thorough. It's important to check, double check, and triple check any orders or warrants. There's a lot of people trying to sabotage ICE right now. That's why I always confirm our orders both in email and in person before moving forward. I would also like to hold a meeting to plan how we might establish a committee on preventing leftists from sabotaging ICE."
Collect a paycheck, drain ICE funds, and be the most unproductive and incompetent ICE agent in history.
I truly like this idea.
Unfortunately, they'll want to see my social media, and when they see that I routinely refer to the Faux President as HitlerPig, and Stephen Miller as PeeWee Himmler, they'll probably escort me straight from the interview to El Salvador.
They have very young person builds. They arent fat like LEOs.
There are other reasons to flunk out besides physical. Problems following superiors orders seems like a likely reason, but there are plenty to choose from