this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
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Well, it finally happened to me. Somehow I now feel like crap for having a dick. I knew that at some point I wanted to get bottom surgery, but it hasn't been because I desperately wanted to cut of my dick and felt shit because I still have one, but because I knew I wanted a vagina. Yesterday evening it turned around and now I feel absolutely miserable for still having one. Why does my brain has to make my life even harder than it already is? This type of Dysphoria is kind of a next level. It (at least currently) doesn't really go away and noticing The source of my Dysphoria every time I move is next level crap.

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[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 days ago

That makes sense. When I first transitioned I was pretty sure I wouldn't get a vaginoplasty, I could settle and live without that - I knew I needed to get an orchiectomy though. I ended up getting both - I got an orchi first and it was very much worth it. Either way, my point is that things can change quickly, I used to be extremely jealous of anyone who could pass as woman-shaped ... now I pass all the time, well beyond what I thought was possible.

Transition is hard everywhere, but as far as I understand it, the challenges in Germany are similar to other places in Europe in terms of very long wait times for heavily gatekept public services. On the other side, at least there are public services accessible for people who otherwise would never afford it, and in the meantime DIY HRT is a possibility.

I'm in the U.S. and the situation here is both worse and better in some ways. I happened to get a good enough insurance plan to cover my vaginoplasty, and had the resources to cover other expenses. Most trans folks don't have that kind of financial situation, and even people privileged enough to have insurance are often denied gender affirming care (I actually was at first too, I had to change insurance entirely when I transitioned). Even with that situation, I still had to face gatekeeping: no gender-affirming procedures would be covered by insurance unless I had been on supervised HRT for at least one year. I also had to get multiple letters from psychologists, one of which had to be "independent" (in my case my hospital had a psychiatric unit that was able to serve this purpose).

Because it's private healthcare in the U.S., the wait times are much better than Europe's public options (more like 6 - 12 months rather than 5 - 10 years).

Honestly, you might look at saving money and trying to go to Thailand for vaginoplasty, that might be the realistic alternative to the public option if that's ever a financial possibility.

Either way, just keep working towards your goals steadily - you might be surprised where you end up. :-)