this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2025
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Asklemmy
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I think the idea is that men don't want to admit they have feelings and are lonely because that's a weakness.
And US society reinforces that behavior by shaming men for being vulnerable or showing weakness and teaching others that a crying or otherwise emotionally vulnerable man is something deserving of shame and contempt.
A great example is online advice articles about handling relationship issues: so much advises that stoicism is the only option, otherwise your girlfriend/wife will lose their respect and attraction for you.
I had an ex-girlfriend mock me for crying during our breakup and know many men who have encountered similar shaming treatment from other men and women. It's brutal.
Women absolutely have a role to play in toxic masculinity. Not to take accountability away from the social conditions that men ultimately created and propagated.
Stoicism teaches us to focus on what's in our control by either reframing or accepting our emotions based on rational judgment. The goal is emotional resilience, not emotional suppression. Pop culture has redefined it as you describe.
Yeah from what I've seen its basically "I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas".
These guys who read about alpha beta sigma crap, are sexist, misogynistic, completely clueless are then shocked that women don't want to be around them. It requires introspection, which I don't think many of them have.
My thoughts exactly. They did that dumb "Men Must Walk their Own Way" shit and are now lonely as fuck and complaining after spending all of last decade talking shit on feminism being the cancer to all men.