this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 160 points 4 days ago (15 children)

If all it does is vibrate why does it need a firmware update?

[–] disorderly@lemmy.world 71 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The incredibly silly true answer is that the software industry's love for "deploy early, deploy often" has led to all embedded devices shipping with over-the-air (OTA) update support even when it barely makes sense. The earliest units of a given product run will ship with a minimally viable product build that has lots of bugs, but solid OTA.

Fun anecdote: I had a TV backlight die after about 3 years, and the root cause was a shitty embedded app that incorrectly regulated the voltage for the LED strips.

[–] bright@piefed.social 26 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I don't think that actually answers OP's question. If all it does is vibrate then it doesn't need any software. It presumably just has a single button that turns vibration on/off and maybe cycles through vibration levels. A dumb circuit without even a single chip in it could do that.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 27 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ah, but what if you want it to vibrate to the beat of your favorite song? Did you think about that?

[–] errer@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

A vibrating poop knife might be the next big thing.

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

I mean, it would prevent sticking....

[–] disorderly@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I'm just guessing here, but it's probably for battery management and wireless charging, which are tricky problems you're not gonna solve with a 555. I generally trust EEs to not put MCUs where they aren't needed, so this must have been the cheapest/easiest option.

[–] porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 days ago

I generally trust EEs to not put MCUs where they aren't needed,

Marketing convinced the boss it needs AI, too bad engineers

[–] osanna@lemmy.vg 2 points 3 days ago

What does marvel have to do with this???

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Because it's cheaper to buy a commodity chip and program it rather than get an application specific chip made.

[–] bright@piefed.social 4 points 4 days ago

As i said in my original post, "A dumb circuit without even a single chip in it could do that." Vibration units can literally just respond to voltage. It's how electrical devices worked before chips, like old pinball machines and old radios. It works just like how a standing fan works - there's a mechanical motor, and you literally just need to attach plain copper wires onto the motor's contact points and stick the other ends of the wire into the slots of a wall power outlet.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago (22 children)

You don't need a chip in a vibration circuit. Hell a potentiometer is more than sufficient to give you different levels of vibration

[–] wabasso@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I don’t know why I’m replying this deep to play devils advocate for some stupid knife, but I could see a situation where you haven’t completed the research on optimal frequency and ship it out while that’s ongoing. Maybe the window of optimal frequency is narrow enough, or unknown enough, that it’d be difficult to calibrate a potentiometer such that the end user could find that ideal point.

[–] bilb@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I want an update that let's it play audio files by vibraing the blade.

[–] wabasso@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago

My only acceptable IoT scenario is where all hardware is open and we can indeed flash music software onto it.

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[–] mech@feddit.org 2 points 3 days ago

It obviously needs specific vibration settings for each food you want to cut.
And a mic and camera for some reason.

[–] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 71 points 4 days ago

How would it vibrate without wpa3 support?

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It doesn't...

But the kind of people who are impressed by a vibrating knife are also likely to be impressed by the ability to update firmware. They don't know what firmware DOES, they just know it's modern.

[–] akwd169@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago

I can hear this image

[–] KraeuterRoy@feddit.org 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Don't you think it would vastly improve your stabbing experience if the knife could vibrate the Halloween theme while you're at it?

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I’d want it to whistle a spooky tune like a theremin.

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 2 points 4 days ago

Value-add apps cost extra

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

maybe scientists discovered new frequencies?

[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Yup its vibrating in the wigglehertz range.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

To show you ads, of course. Duh.

[–] Big_Boss_77@fedinsfw.app 8 points 4 days ago

Microphone was a little muffled, fw update supposed to clear that up.

[–] SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Different frequency and patterns provide different results.

[–] turtlesareneat@piefed.ca 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

And some of those frequencies need to be paywalled, for the customer's enjoyment.

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 days ago

Sense of pride and accomplishment

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago

That’s what she said.

[–] Tetragrade@leminal.space 2 points 4 days ago

data gathering

[–] msage@programming.dev 1 points 3 days ago

To fix all the RCE bugs, of course!

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 points 4 days ago

It has a battery, so circuity exists for that.

they updated it so it also vibrates in rgb

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