Hello I’m a software engineer for this knife! Kitchenaid’s newest model, the Ultrasonic Edge™! It is forged with self-healing nano-steel from Japan, the blade can automatically correct small edge imperfections over time, keeping it razor sharp longer than a traditional knife. The button on the handle cycles through several prep modes to assist in slicing and dicing. My favorite is heated mode which heats the blade to 28 C to assist in slicing frozen meats and vegetables. The knife occasionally receives software updates through its charging block, adding new cutting profiles and improving its internal motion sensors that track hand positioning and cutting rhythm. Tiny embedded LEDs along the spine glow softly to indicate blade temperature, battery life, or sanitation status after UV self-cleaning cycles. If you don’t have access to internet we can send you a usb device to install the software updates remotely. If you have any questions feel free to ask!
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God, I hope this is satire.
Satire is wasted on Lemmy.
That's literally what an advert would be like for something like this. It's near impossible to tell anymore what is satire and what is not.
It's almost exactly what an advert for something like this would read like, and that's why it's actually good satire.
If it's exactly like an ad then it's not satire.
This should be more exaggerated and ridiculous compared to an ad to be satire.
my questions:
Seems like it was just a few days ago I post an internet story about an over engineered toaster….
i'm so behind times... why would anyone need firmware for a knife though? like for real - what do you accomplish with it?
Keeps it ultra sharp with blade angles calculated by the latest AI-generated honing algorithms.
Also, fuck your privacy. Let us in your home.
got it. thx. yikes
I'm getting flashbacks to the knife dildo from the movie "Seven."
probably NSFW
This scene
This link is showing me how to increase the power of a small engine in a go cart. I’m still gonna watch it but it’s not what I was expecting.
I've seen this knife on YouTube. It vibrate at ultrasound frequency that makes it sharper than the blade really is and the ingredients don't stick to it, or so they claim. If it really does perform as demonstrated, it's pretty cool, but still overpriced.
If all it does is vibrate why does it need a firmware update?
The incredibly silly true answer is that the software industry's love for "deploy early, deploy often" has led to all embedded devices shipping with over-the-air (OTA) update support even when it barely makes sense. The earliest units of a given product run will ship with a minimally viable product build that has lots of bugs, but solid OTA.
Fun anecdote: I had a TV backlight die after about 3 years, and the root cause was a shitty embedded app that incorrectly regulated the voltage for the LED strips.
I don't think that actually answers OP's question. If all it does is vibrate then it doesn't need any software. It presumably just has a single button that turns vibration on/off and maybe cycles through vibration levels. A dumb circuit without even a single chip in it could do that.
Ah, but what if you want it to vibrate to the beat of your favorite song? Did you think about that?
How would it vibrate without wpa3 support?
It doesn't...
But the kind of people who are impressed by a vibrating knife are also likely to be impressed by the ability to update firmware. They don't know what firmware DOES, they just know it's modern.
we've engineered the bolster connection to withstand up to 50 lbs. of pushing force, so you can chop without worry. (Our human arms could only muster 30 lbs. This is why we're nice to the robot.)
Noodle-armed motherfuckers could only manage 30 lbs of force with their arms?
I don't care if it's sharp enough to kill a god, it's still not worth it if it needs WiFi access.
I unno killing a god is historically pretty damn expensive. Wifi access is a lot cheaper then your soul, first born, village or eternal damnation.
450euro for a ultrasonic vibrating knife.
They used to be one in the hotel that I worked at and it definitely didn't have an app or internet connection you just pressed the button and it did its thing. What's the firmware for?
Got to tell the advertising firm and the government how you cut your bread.
What the hell are you people doing buying this crap in the first place?
I'm convinced that much of, if not most of, society sees technology in our personal lives as a way to (ideally) not have to learn anything or put in one bit of extra effort.
I've been getting my hands dirty and doing more things myself over the past few years, and ya know sometimes the journey is more impactful on you as a person than the destination is. Learning things and interacting with the world around you is good.
Ultrasonic cutting tech is really cool tbh. That doesn't mean the fucking thing has to be internet connected and have firmware updates .
But it isn't? No serious chef would use this bullshit.
They haven't had the option until now so that's trivially true. This is among the first times this tech has been put into a hand-held knife. Until now it's been limited to industrial food processing where you're cutting something sticky. Turns out you can prevent sticking just by vibrating the blade at a few khz. No chemical coatings required.
I don't expect wide adoption among chefs and this won't at any point replace a substantial proportion of normal knives. And this implementation of the tech is silly and bears all the flaws of modern product design. But it is cool tech.
I want a clip on type of thing
https://youtube.com/shorts/XNmsrRQEZ3Y
This appears to be by the same company that makes the shitty knife in the OP but they have demos of the industrial version of it first.
Every day we get a little closer
I just don't understand why anyone would buy something like this. I bought a few of those smart speakers, really only so I can voice control my hue lights and listen to music on them sometimes, but a knife? What the fuck usage does it add?