CW: religious trauma etc.
I still think about whether I should tell the truth to my mother. Like "I don't believe our religion is the truth." (religion is a cult)
She does seem like she knows I don't believe anymore. She asks that sometimes but I always deflect. It's obvious tbh. She doesn't seem the type of mother to kick me out of the house due to change of beliefs but she would tell other people. I love her a lot but she could do that.
It would be a clean break if she did. People in this cult would stop talking to me. Some have already cut me off due to how "weak" and "unresponsive to God" I look. Even some that I've known for years. Never had a true friend, I suppose.
I'm not really asking for advice on whether I should tell the truth to her or not. You don't know my mother nor me so whatever happens is my decision. I could always just bid my time and fade slowly. However long that is and however many lies I have to tell. Lying hurts.
Really, it's just venting about how funny it is that other revolutionaries did so many things under the threat of death and I'm here afraid of talking to my mother.
I remember when I finally woke up a year ago and I wrote in my diary "Today God died in my heart". Well, I think his corpse is still there. A false idol that was there since my birth.
Well anyways, thanks for reading. I'm still gonna have my life. I hope so.
(Also, I am aware that not all religions are like this. I'm an atheist not a reddit atheist)
I was raised as an evangelical christian. Its not an easy process to disentangle yourself. Personally I found it was better to just avoid talking about it rather than make people choose between their dogma and their relationship with you.
Honestly, that's good advice. Thanks.