CW: religious trauma etc.
I still think about whether I should tell the truth to my mother. Like "I don't believe our religion is the truth." (religion is a cult)
She does seem like she knows I don't believe anymore. She asks that sometimes but I always deflect. It's obvious tbh. She doesn't seem the type of mother to kick me out of the house due to change of beliefs but she would tell other people. I love her a lot but she could do that.
It would be a clean break if she did. People in this cult would stop talking to me. Some have already cut me off due to how "weak" and "unresponsive to God" I look. Even some that I've known for years. Never had a true friend, I suppose.
I'm not really asking for advice on whether I should tell the truth to her or not. You don't know my mother nor me so whatever happens is my decision. I could always just bid my time and fade slowly. However long that is and however many lies I have to tell. Lying hurts.
Really, it's just venting about how funny it is that other revolutionaries did so many things under the threat of death and I'm here afraid of talking to my mother.
I remember when I finally woke up a year ago and I wrote in my diary "Today God died in my heart". Well, I think his corpse is still there. A false idol that was there since my birth.
Well anyways, thanks for reading. I'm still gonna have my life. I hope so.
(Also, I am aware that not all religions are like this. I'm an atheist not a reddit atheist)
I think I wrote a wall of text but I actually agree with Commiejones. I mean maintain all your relationships with your family and friends, but you don't need to explicitly say to all of them that you don't believe anymore. If your case is one where you still depend financially on your family, one more reason to not handle it in a explicit way if talking about it out loud could mean any kind of harm inflicted upon you.
The only reason you'd want to stay away from them is if feel under threat, like if you are in some kind of cult, that requires you to do something you disapprove or if you are under some forn of threat (like sexual abuse).
Like I said, even not agreeing with the Vatican, or even not believing in god in a literal sense, I still go to the church and act as part of the community because it does not feel like a burden to me. Today I'm not a part of any of the church social movements, and don't feel any pressure to go to the mass every weekend, but I still go every now and then and still take part in some events.