When animals attack, that shit is funny. Love watching people getting fuckin owned by animals. I wonder why?
this post was submitted on 15 May 2026
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Mildly Infuriating
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I live on O'ahu and I'll never forget the first time I encountered a monk seal while surfing. It was near sunset and I was kind of off by myself, away from the rest of the crowd. I heard a sound of heavy breathing from behind me and I thought that maybe someone was paddling up. Nope, it was a seal.
At first my brain couldn't make sense of it. I grew up in Florida and so immediately thought it was a manatee (for some reason I thought monk seals were like sea lion size or something smaller and leaner), but I knew this was impossible. Then it yawned and I saw its sizable teeth and realized what it was. It was funny because it was about that time that it realized I was looking at it and it had this "oh shit!" look in its eyes. We gave each other a cautious side-eye just before it went back underwater and swam away.
These things are big. What would possess someone to think they can approach one is beyond me. A couple years ago there was a story of a lady out swimming in Waikiki and she apparently wandered into an area where a recently born seal was on the beach. The mother messed her up, iirc.
His defense attorney is saying that the dude was trying to scare away the seal because he thought it was hurting some sea turtles. Story is here. Found this when I was looking for yesterday's story quoting the dude as saying "I can afford the fines" when he was confronted by some local people.
Not sure I buy this. But, we'll see.
Even if that was true, isn’t that still illegal?
Most likely, yes. But might help to reduce the penalty
Totally. Not trying to defend the guy, just sharing the story. Just seems super convenient. Why not tell the people yelling at you that you're trying to protect the turtles? Why are we only now hearing about this? Seems like the sort of story one of my kids would come up with to try and get themselves off the hook.
is a resident of Covington, Wash.
That tracks.
NOAA has cops?
washington man sounds like florida man to me, and that guy better have a joint and a Rainier while wearing a hoodie, not this nutsack - he's some russian shitbag who's living in washington state. he's not... washington man....
Washington man might throw rock at seal if drunk enough, sadly too poor to realize dream
Ukrainian. But hey, don't let facts get in the way, they're our greatest allies.
well slava ukraine but fuck this guy.
Uh huh.
Apparently after this he also hit some locals on their fists with his face. I hope the seal and their fists are okay.
He's the one who got the beating after the locals found out about it and he told them that he doesn't care about getting fined because he's rich.
You may need to take a second read of the comment you're replying to.
damn
"the man told witnesses that he was “rich enough to pay the fines" and walked away as Lani was immobile in the water"
Since this asshole is already "rich enough" let's make him famous as well.
Igor Mykhaylovych Lytvynchuk
I read somewhere a random local gave him a couple of punches after the news went viral.
"Eh, get cracks!"
Saw that the local guy is also not having any charges pressed against him for this. Love to see it.
"Don't worry guys. Alohandle this cunt." — some local
That local should be eligible for sainthood, or at least a key to the city
You'll be glad to hear that the anonymous local was awarded the highest honor the city could bestow: the Ambassador of Aloha.
Time to tie the fine to a fraction of percent worth, like how the Europeans do it.
Only the finns.
It just makes since. A fine is just a price, a percentage makes sure people feel it as much as a given law wants them to.
A very lucky subset of Europeans, mind
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I read sea at first and was very confused. Fuck this guy
I'm not one to call for doxing this person, but I'm sure one could easily find where this person works and let that company know what they think. Just talking out loud.
he's already been doxxed, iirc he owns his own business.
Igor Mykhaylovych Lytvynchuk (yes, that's his name)
Let's not dox people
I'm sure prosecutors will have a field day
Let's throw the book at this guy like he threw rocks at that seal. Fucking piece of shit.
He will be appointed the new head of US Fish & Wildlife
allegedly throwing rock
Isnt there a video, what do they mean allegedly?
You are innocent until proven guilty
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That'll get you killed on my beach.
Biggest issue is keiki and tourists crowding the seals when they come on shore to take pictures, and the seals get nervous and head back into the water. But sometimes you get local kine just as disrespectful.
But also..
Special agents with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration arrested Igor Mykhaylovych Lytvynchuk near Seattle
wut...
There was that story of da guy who killed one on Moloka'i. Was like last year, two years, yeah? Never found em. Local guy I think.
As it so happens, it did nearly kill him. Some locals beat the shit out of him afterwards.
But hey, he said he could afford the fine, so I’m sure he could afford the medical bills too.
Fun fact: NOAA, although not a military service, is considered one of the 8 "uniformed services" of the US, which includes the 5 military services, the Coast Guard, NOAA, and the US Public Health Service.
Wait so they actually have official uniforms? I know the Surgeon General has a very cool military looking one
They do. Here's the official photo of the current Director of the NOAA Commissioned Officer Corps, Rear Admiral Chad M Cary.
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