Can't wait for adverts for the ass blaster 9000® to be beamed directly into my frontal lobe without my consent.
this post was submitted on 15 May 2026
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I'd take it
Another tech headline, another thing that would have sounded pretty cool 20-30 years ago but today sounds like an absolute nightmare to stay FAR away from. And this one more than most!
The only way I would ever even consider this is if the firmware was open source and the software to interact with it was open source and it had no direct connection to any sort of network at all and required an external device that I could turn off or on to connect to it an external network. Oh, and the hardware would need to be open source as well.
It will be proprietary and cloud based, when you skip a payment you collapse on the floor until a family member signs up for extended warranty.
That's a hell of a faustian bargain, good luck with that.
I wouldn't trust these assholes with a rabid viper let alone my own brain
I’ve been evangelising for smart glasses for years. But even if they get the functionality I’ve been hoping for I’m still not going to get them, because i don’t want every woman i meet to think I’m secretly recording her tits
There’s no way I’m letting Elon musk do brain surgery on me to harvest my thoughts
What functionality are you looking for? Most I can think of is gimmicky at best.
Would be interested even in gimmicky use cases.
People forget about the other genders when it comes to the issues with smart glasses. And kids. Where is the "for the safety of our children" mob, when we need one?
Where is the "for the safety of our children" mob, when we need one?
Busy being weaponized against minorities again
So many people are already functionally hooked up, even if it is happening through their eyes and not a direct wire. Prove me wrong, everybody: don’t touch any of your devices for a week. It’s nigh unthinkable now but I remember times when the internet didn’t exist, cell phones didn’t exist, I had no cable TV, no game console, and would only turn on my little black and white Mac to write a paper for school. We listened to music a lot, socialized in person, smoked a lot of… various things, had a lot of sex. It’s a rather poor trade we’ve made if you ask me.
I yearn to go back to the days when a 2 minute lapse in focus/interest didn't subconsciously send me reaching for my phone.
I know. My weakness isn’t necessarily waiting time, but time spent on dull work like housework. My brains starts going “BOORRING!”
People still do all that, go to a festival and you'll see plenty of that, it's just downtime between social events is filled in by phones
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A report in Politico details a TED talk in Vancouver last month
Oh so it's just rambling musings of some self-important CEO rather than any actual declaration of intent.
There are some good TED talks but a lot of them are just hot air.
Even joking about this, should have your dick be shoved in a woodchipper.
I feel like the bar is extremely low for TED talks these days. But maybe it has just changed to a financial one instead of an intellectual one.
Too bad I can't trust either the competence or intent of those with resources to create brain chips. Sorry teenaged me that desperately wanted true VR, but I'll probably decline it even if it becomes a thing.
I don't think I would even trust an open source version that I fully control. Either it would be a pain in the ass to maintain it or it would eventually have some major vuln discovered and lead to people being hacked. Too risky.
How anyone could trust them at this point blows my mind, outside of people who need a fucking hail mary like those with neurological disorders.
Idk. I don't know if I'll be able to stop from being a bigot towards people who get chips in their brain. Like I simply do not think I will be capable of holding my tongue. Again, unless the chip is literally the only reason they can live a normal life, those people shouldn't be treated like people.
This is so far beyond delusional and out-of-touch it's insane. Tech bros and giant corporations alike have shown that they are both greedy and fine with enshittifying even profitable legacy products and services. Everything capitalism touches becomes worse and more expensive, because it's literally never enough.
In the real world I inhabit, people work for a living, and care about each other. Not only would I never install their chip in my brain, I will never even identify my identity online, because that's the end of the anonymous internet. But even non-techy people I know also would never do this because even they've they've seen the enshittification cycle time and time again. As for nerds like me, we enjoy sci-fi. But psychos like this are actively trying to speedrun a dystopian sci-fi company and world, which is deeply troubling. It's like watching Star Wars and wanting to help The Empire control everything...
Over my dead body.
Also, this is laughable:
We’re on the cusp of the next major transition, the merger of humans and AI.
These guys don't even have true AI yet, just a text predictor on steroids that frequently hallucinates and gets things wrong.
It's because they're in so much debt they need to run forward to outrun it by... Getting into even more debt on the basis that this time it will payoff
The cope is really deep in the tech sector. Way too many imbeciles who think they're geniuses and too much VC to throw around.
Always been this way, no? Sometimes, though, the imbeciles hire very competent people
It's much worse now. Some of these people actually did impressive things earlier in the 21st century. Now they're 90% grifters
It’s always been 90% grifters. Survivorship bias
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AI is incredible if you ask it about stuff you're not an expert on. Once you ask it those things you already have expert level knowledge on, especially nuanced questions, you'll start to see the issues. It won't be every question it gets wrong, but it's often enough to be an issue.
In other words, it’s all an illusion. It’s a ruse to get us to feed it our thoughts, so it can summarize our files and our queries, and it can feed us the responses it is told to feed us.
We already know it can do that since they’re placing fucking ads in it.
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We could be granting everyone in the world a high standard of living but instead we're going to charge them to self-induce early onset neurodegenerative disease.
No, I don't think I will
AI CEO D. Scott Phoenix laid out a vision of a world in which the chipped enjoy so many advantages of the unchipped that you’ll be forced to comply.
I won't even verify my age online. He can shove my advantageous chip right up his ass.
Sounds like someone who has never lived off the land. If anything like this happens you can guarantee there will be communes of people without this like the amish but not so weird.
forced to comply.
The language I'd expect from a villain in some fiction aimed at teenagers, not from a real person. This is so bizarre, and the amount of people ok with ceos saying those things is disturbing
I'm not ok with this. He is KoS unironically.
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If by "for a while" you mean "until I'm dead" . . then yea, sure. Any other definition . . no chance in hell.
The worst parts of Severance + Pluribus
Just like we all ran out and bought 3D TVs. Right? And Meta smart glasses. Any day now!
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The actual article is much more informative than a rando's ramblings.
It's still just a report on things that Sam Altman and his ilk says, it has a much as much validity as Elon Musk claiming that we're going to have cities on Mars by the end of next year. I've never been able to decide if these idiots actually believe the things they are spouting or if they're just trying to get more investment but either way it's not worth paying any actual attention to them.
Assuming we're even on the right path towards superhuman AI (personally I can't see large language models actually leading anywhere) we're certainly only at the start of that journey, it's pointless to muse about what the end would look like because we have no idea what kind of technology will have by the end, it could be a century or more from now.
Regardless the people deciding on that technology will be scientists not rich CEOs with over inflated salaries who can barely wire up a light switch, let alone design a brain implant.
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