most proven space war-fighting tools
Did I miss something?
Was there a space war?
this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
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Chapotraphouse
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He doesn't know about the invasion of venus 
why, so they can shoot tear gas and rubber bullets at protestors from orbit?
Bah boom.
Lotsa people don't know this but the very, very bad pun was intended. It's good - right? It's good. Boom... Bing-bing-boom-bing. So - windmills...
The words "Space National Guard" gives me the giggles.
Can we shoot this reporter into space so he can get in on the ground floor of this operation please?
Pigs in Spaaaaace.
Nobody on the ISS will think of unionizing NOW.
I think the motivation for this article becomes comically clear if you just check this guy's wikipedia page
they should definitely do this. and deploy the troops to orbit ASAP to secure the area before trying to build a base.
Space National Guard Astronaut #1: "Houston - we have secured the area. No hostiles. Repeat. No hostiles. Also - it's kinda empty out here in space. If we missed a couple of 'em - that's okay. There are no dumpsters or anything for them to hide behind. We can get 'em with our space stun grenades."
SNG Houston Command Center: "You have brought munitions onto the station?"
Space National Guard Astronaut #2 has already disabled the mic of Space National Guard Astronaut #1. He says: "Negative, Houston. Oh..." He fiddles with the dials. "We're losing you. We're losing you. Sunspots..." He turns off comms to earth. Total Recall is one of his favorite movies. He smacks Space National Guard Astronaut #1 on the side of the head. "Dipshit! All that was classified military stuff! But now the civvies know!"
Space National Guard Astronaut #1: "Oops."
Can't wait to meet my first USSF veteran, so I can laugh in their face and mock them till they cry.