This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
>be anon with no relationship experience
>see girl tweet I don't understand
>"damn those rascally foids"
>invent backstory for tweet that would validate my emotional response
Back in my day this post would be called fake and gay, not capped and spread like a venereal disease.
This is OP btw:
Not a rare thing, really. It's a human issue, regardless of age or gender.
People can definitely get attracted to the idea of a person that lives in their heads. They fall for a fantasy, often nurturing it with daydream. That's what a 'crush' is.
Reality hits when you see them as a real person with nuanced emotions, deep personal history, and a rich inner world. The reality of a person clashes with the fantasy of them.
Often that's a good thing. People get relationship maturity that way. They grow their skills of empathy, patience, compassion. The fantasy fades for a beautiful tapestry. Even if your relationship ends, you can respect each other.
Sometimes it's an inconvenient truth. The reality of a person isn't what you want, and the fantasy of them withers in the face of it. You can even bitterly resent them for falling short of your daydreams, robbing you of their comfort.
As strange as it sounds, it is a blessing for it to happen so quickly. For many, it's something they awake to in middle age. Feeling encroaching mortality, they realise that they settled in a life that was convenient, with a partner that was attainable, rather than either being truly satisfying.
So they sabotage it, flee it, resent it, or all the above. We call it the 'mid-life crisis'.
This sucks and feels awful, but of the many ways this could've gone? This was actually one of the better ones.
Reality hits when you see them as a real person with nuanced emotions, deep personal history, and a rich inner world. The reality of a person clashes with the fantasy of them.
What reality are you living in? The one I live in my fantasy of them is this person, but the reality of them is have are shallow, petty, person with the inner complexity of a Disney plot, who thinks nuanced emotion makes you gay and the only personal history they want to know are how many 0s are in your bank account while they tell you their sob story about how daddy didn't love them enough and their life should be 'so much more'.
Think of it this way: remember that sleepover playdate that lasted two days too long? You both had enough before it was over?
Yes that thing, some people like to keep their eyes open for that kinda stuff before stepping into a relationship. And it's a good practice. Other people have that "yes let's go!!!" kinda thing and that clashes sometimes.
Anyway that's what I've learned so far.
It's funny, I have had that exact experience with guys when I was young. The second I started returning the interest, they would drop me like I was a venomous snake and go flirt with someone else.
Until I met my boyfriend I just thought men didn't want women to like them back. Color me confused when the pre historic version of incel/manosphere culture began bitching about women playing hard to get back in the late 2000s/early 2010s on various forums.
Was over here like: y'all are the ones who run for the hills whenever a girl shows you she likes you, though. 🤷♀️
Story of my LIFE until I met my current partner
hehe, yeah. Honestly, good for us. I for one, am so relieved that I'm off the market. It's so draining, dude xD
I have moments where I miss the flirting and the attention, but I don't miss the loneliness...greener grass and all that.
I'm the same as you, but in reverse: I sometimes miss being alone, but I don't miss the flirting and the attention.
And honestly, the "missing the loneliness" has kinda been fixed now that we no longer live in small apartments, but have a house with rooms where we can be ourselves when we need it. We are that weird kind of couple who love being alone together. He does his thing, I do mine and occassionally one comes over to give the other a hug and a smooch. And if one or the other needs extra attention, we put down whatever we are working on to give it to them. For example, he's gotten hooked on collecting fossils recently and sometimes he bursts with the need to do lectures about pre-historic aquatic life and their anatomy and he comes over and dumps one fossil in my hands after the other while he talks. It's the same when I go off on one of my things. Like I can talk at length about movies, foreign cultures and their habits and languages. And then we have a mutual interest in birds. Like I saw a raven fly over our house the other day and immediately called him and we babbled for several minutes about my observations to make sure it was a raven and not a crow. If either of us are out and see a weird bird, we snap a pic if possible and send it to the other and discuss what bird it is if it isn't immediately apparent.
How the frick would I find a guy like that ever again? Do they even make those anymore? I need someone to match my level of mundane weird.
Ps: this is his most recent bird identification pic in our privat chat. He correctly identified it as a curlew. I double checked my bird lexicon. The rest of our chat is full of pictures of fossils xD
Women can self-loathe too. The mistake some men make is thinking they're all the same.
Women are not a unified organism controller by a singular hive mind? Isn't that the job of Queen Kerrigan?
Is this why I always got ghosted? I was beginning to think they were just cruelly toying with me...
The chase or being chased is sometimes what people like more than the end result.
Welcome to my ex-gf. Also some people know how to say what you want to hear while avoiding the actions to make it real. This can be very destructive to someone's peace.
I mean, I would like first to make a point of order - "ghosting" is when someone who you already have an established relationship with stops responding to all messages. It doesn't mean "someone you were interested in but had no significant relationship with simply lost interest". For example, if you match with someone on a dating app, and then you exchange a few messages but they stop responding, they are not "ghosting" you - they have simply lost interest.
Anyway, if you have people on dating apps consistently losing interest with you, then it usually means that your problem is.... nothing. The vast majority of OLD interactions go no where. This is fine. Most people arent a good match for each other. They might have found someone who is a better match for them, or they may have simply become exhausted with dealing with OLD.
Its like if you thought someone at a party was cute, and you went and had a convo with them, and then they went to get a drink and got drawn into another convo, and then you never saw them again. They didn't "ghost" you. They aren't being mean to you. They are just living their life, and you are not a major player in it, and that's fine.
However, if you don't like how conversations just peter off sometimes, you can significantly reduce this by seeking explicit rejections instead. Be clear about what you are looking for, and then pitch meeting up in person.
This is why you date, wheat from chaff and all that. The day you find someone perfect is the day you can stop looking
or you just stop looking because you are sick of all the miserable bullshit and you just want to enjoy your life without other people's miserable bullshit weirdo nonsense in it.
and you're shocked that... you feel really good most days instead of feeling like shit most days... almost as of how other people treat you has a huge impact on your mental health and cutting out people who treat you poorly makes you feel a lot better about life.
I mean yea that's also an option. Being happy alone should always come before being happy with someone else, if at all.
this also works for sandwiches. enjoy every sandwich.
I do my man, every damn one
Just don't make the mistake of fucking your sandwiches.
To be miserable.
And they are very very good at making themselves miserable, and going on a rant about how they this is your fault and all men are awful.
Your job in life is to avoid folks who choose to be miserable. good luck
This sounds pretty typical to me.
They like each others looks, and start talking a bit. She realizes just how many red flags anon is raising, and starts to backpedal.
Fuck women impossible to understand amirite.
Edit: nothing is black and white, especially when it come to people. I was just pointing out one of the likely scenario that hadn't been pointed out when I posted.
Thats not a problem with "liking someone back." I think the post would have read along the lines of " i hate when someone isn't who they seem to be" in your scenario.
I don't really think it's that simple.
I think it's about that weird thing people (not women) do that makes them attracted to strangers but not friends. I find it mentioned everywhere, both online and offline.
I think that's what anon is experiencing too.
I really don't understand why people just lose all attraction as soon as mysteriousness is no longer a factor. And I've seen it happen with my own damn eyes, to me AND others.
I don't get it.
It's as if as soon as I become readily available to anyone, I suddenly become much more worthless and disposable too... Suddenly every other aspect of theif life takes priority and I'm number last. I guess because other things are only available conditionally whereas I'm pretty much always available? Idk.
Also if I'm not interested in someone, that someone always wants to interact. It's as if life constantly works to spite me.
Edit: I'm so glad I didn't get downvoted to oblivion...I feel so validated. Thanks y'all...
Yeah, the whole situation is too vague to read for certain, even if it really happened.
I do find it more likely that this was a "Never meet your crushes" than an "OMG wtf would they like me" just out of the blue.
Impossible challenge: write a greentext without making it about a 'girl'
Go find some other greentexts then and post them here.
that's not at all impossible, a lot of the time it's really about a guy
She found out he can't spell tries