this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2025
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[–] Kompressor@lemmy.world 70 points 3 days ago

The entire thing screamed humiliation display more than anything else. And the anything else was like a half assed shitty commercial for military equipment. They had actual soldiers playing dress up for no fucking reason while wasting a fuck ton of money the VA could’ve used. Just despicable all around.

[–] Cattail@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago

Lol they're pro military just to make Trump's joint celebration with the military look bad

[–] blackstampede@sh.itjust.works 56 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Story time, boys and girls.

When I joined the Army and went to basic training, one of the first things they did was show us how to stand at attention, at-ease, right face, left face, and about face. Then they turned the training unit and marched off.

And then stopped and screamed at us for marching like Nazis.

Turns out, you don't see US soldiers marching like that because it's stupid as hell, and you can't do it for twenty miles with a rucksack. The US military for all their many, many faults, is real good at war, and marching like a toy soldier doesn't help you do war.

So we learned how to march like Americans, which is much more casual. The only thing you've gotta do is make sure you match the stride length of the soldier in front of you, but even that is more of a suggestion than a hard rule. We got good, though, because we were assholes.

We would ease out behind someone who was walking somewhere and roughly the same height, and step slightly faster than the person in front of us, until we were close behind them. Then you perform a little skip at the last second to get back to the same stride and close the last few inches. The end result is that your chest is hovering about an inch from their back, your nose is an inch from the back of their head, and your hands are swinging right behind theirs. While walking at full speed.

You haven't had a jump scare until you've marched two blocks, turned your head, and glimpsed someone's face an inch from your own.

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 2 days ago (3 children)

The US military for all their many, many faults, is real good at war, and marching like a toy soldier doesn't help you do war.

The point of a uniformed service is to show your enemy that you have control and command over people who will follow your orders. Demonstrating this lowers your enemy's will to fight back. It gets soldiers on the other side to think "If these guys are so organized that they march in unison, we don't stand a chance."

These military parades are no longer valuable except to authoritarians. Normal functioning democracies don't use national military forces to project power. They do so using diplomacy and other political methods.

But Trump, Kim Jung Un, Modi, and Putin all use it to flex their authority to their base.

It will not surprise me if in the next year, a new division in the army is created for parade duty for the president's birthday where next year their marching will be perfect.

All so that Trump can get his dick hard.

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[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 28 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If I could march in a brass band after very limited practice, these guys can. They just didn’t want to.

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[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 59 points 3 days ago (3 children)

At least Trump seemed not to enjoy any of it, so hopefully we can put this whole stupid episode behind us, and move on to the next stupid episode.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)
  1. Trump wanted this for a decade
  2. They put on this ridiculous thing
  3. Trump isn't pleased; obviously uncomfortable

Why the hell did they do this then?

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago (2 children)

He didn't want it because he thought he would personally enjoy it, he wanted it because he thought it would make him look badass to the other dictators he's always trying so hard to impress and emulate.

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[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

I think it was probably in protest. However they can, I guess.

[–] asg101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 days ago (29 children)

These soldiers spend their days doing important work to defend our nation.

The U.S. military has done nothing to defend their "nation" for over 100 years. They ONLY defend the corporate oligarchs' ability to steal resources and use slave labor in third world countries.

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[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 2 days ago (15 children)

Yeah! They need to do important stuff!

Like point guns at me while I'm going to the grocery store!

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[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 33 points 3 days ago (16 children)

They can dEfEnD oUr NaTiOn against brown peasants, but can't march in step because they apparent forget how to do so after basic training? Shit, it's been over 20 years since my military service and I'm 100% sure I could still manage to march in step

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 64 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

That may be; but how many of those people just didn't fucking care because of the dress and deportment of leadship?

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 41 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I mean personally I think that's more likely to be the real reason – they mostly looked they just didn't give a flying fuck and didn't want to be there.

I just find these justifications of "well they're busy defending our nation so they don't learn marching" idiotic

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