this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2025
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[–] heyWhatsay@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 day ago

Very relatable, I have spent much time in the woods with a beer in one hand and a machete in the other. If anyone is concerned, I just tell them I'm waiting for the zombies to show up.

[–] xylol@leminal.space 64 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Seems pretty normal especially solo hiking

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 27 points 2 days ago (3 children)
[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 19 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Either Mary or Kate, probably.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Mary Kate never existed. She was made up so that Ashley could pull two paychecks on Full House.

/s

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

She parent trapped us!

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 days ago

♪ I fill you up ♪

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago

- Empire TSA agent

[–] xylol@leminal.space 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Mosquito's probably, they definitely need a machete with those around

[–] Metostopholes@midwest.social 12 points 2 days ago

The word paparazzi was originally used because it invoked a buzzing insect, and may have been derived from papataceo, meaning a large and bothersome mosquito. So in a way that's kind of true.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] RedSnt@feddit.dk 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] atlas@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 days ago

THEN WHO WAS PHONE????

[–] higgsboson@dubvee.org 44 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Respect. Imagine being famous before you can even form your personality? She has probably never felt safe in public in her entire life.

[–] FATALRPG@sh.itjust.works 10 points 19 hours ago

The episode where her and Mary Kate went on Oprah has been scrubbed off the internet as much as possible, but it was fucked.

Both girls struggled with an eating disorder (let’s be real, any child/teen star does because they’re our societies sacrifice to Moloch) - and she asked them a bunch of pointed questions about diet and weight. Fucking ghoulish.

Don’t forget there were “countdowns to 18” for both of them, just like there were for Emma Watson. Disgusting.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 19 hours ago

The way they were treated in media was also fucking disgusting.

Is that why she bangs old men?

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This isnt how you go out?

The white outfit is weird, but the rest just seems normal. Lots of places require some cutting to get through.

[–] higgsboson@dubvee.org 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I could only dream of rocking that look she has going on. Although I am roughly twice her size, I would still not want to rely on a machete for anything more intensive than clearing a campsite. I do have one just like hers, for such an occasion. For more serious social purposes, though, I prefer a ranged attack.

In her case, the ensemble and melee weapon seem more about her own empowerment and signaling she isnt in the mood for any bullshit. It sucks that she feels like that shit is necessary. As a girldad who grew up in the Full House era, I sympathize and hope she can feel (and be) safe.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

ranged attack

For walking, not fighting. Not everyone keeps to the paths. Noy everywhere has them.

that fit

Yeah. And it would be ruined in five minutes anywhere the machete was necessary.

[–] higgsboson@dubvee.org 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Sure you can go ahead and pretend she was clearing trail with that machete. lol.

Genuinely no clue.

Tbf that's pretty much the best way to enjoy the outdoors.

[–] plantmoretrees@lemm.ee 36 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Those kids got mind f’ed

[–] noobface@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

ain't no one have room to judge. machetes and mimosas all day.

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Add a rope loop around the machete handle and your wrist. Just in case a "non-bear" tries grabbing it from you. Be vigilant!

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

a “non-bear”

Here we call them "twinks"

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

Lmao, indeed. If they were the concern, she'd only need a pamphlet about Jesus vs the machete 😂

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago

Maybe a lanyard attached to the drink too. I don't anymore, but that, uh, would have come in handy on some past camping trips

[–] BootyEnthusiast@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] NotProLemmy@lemmy.ml 1 points 18 hours ago
[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago

I think they mean like a more clean cut gay man. Those guys are always snatching machetes.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 19 points 2 days ago

I don't see the problem

Imagine you're in the wood and accidentally stumble upon big game at close quarters. Michelle knows. Michelle's got this, dude!

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

What?! That's how I hike! (and no joke, though sometimes it's a rifle/shotgun instead)

[–] Dumbkid@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 days ago

Usually my machete is sheathed but same

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Watch it rise like a souffle!

[–] demizerone@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

She's badass

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 10 points 2 days ago

Did you grow up some some sort of post modern thriller?

[–] socsa@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago

I feel seen