this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2025
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Reel Deal Casino: Shuffle Master (2003) for Windows 98.

So I found this relic on Best Buy’s site and thought, “Why not?” It’s a simple casino game—slots, poker, the usual suspects. Nothing remarkable. Except… the characters.

My God, the character models. It’s as if the devs collectively decided they hated human beings and wanted to prove it in 3D. Their faces look like someone poured wax over mannequins and left them under a heat lamp. The jowls are extra jowly. The hair? Like Antarctic crops fertilized by penguins. And Q—yes, that’s his name—looks like he’s moonlighting as a uranium mule headed for Pyongyang.

Do I recommend it? Only if you’re running a Windows 98 museum piece. Otherwise, no. It’s a casino game that doesn’t run on modern hardware, so… take that as you will.

@videogames@piefed.social

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