Welcome to the Unpopular Opinion community!
How voting works:
Vote the opposite of the norm.
If you agree that the opinion is unpopular give it an arrow up. If it's something that's widely accepted, give it an arrow down.
Guidelines:
Tag your post, if possible (not required)
Rules:
1. NO POLITICS
Politics is everywhere. Let's make this about [general] and [lemmy] - specific topics, and keep politics out of it.
2. Be civil.
Disagreements happen, but that doesn’t provide the right to personally attack others. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Please also refrain from gatekeeping others' opinions.
3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.
Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.
4. Shitposts and memes are allowed but...
Only until they prove to be a problem. They can and will be removed at moderator discretion.
5. No trolling.
This shouldn't need an explanation. If your post or comment is made just to get a rise with no real value, it will be removed. You do this too often, you will get a vacation to touch grass, away from this community for 1 or more days. Repeat offenses will result in a perma-ban.
6. Defend your opinion
This is a bit of a mix of rules 4 and 5 to help foster higher quality posts. You are expected to defend your unpopular opinion in the post body. We don't expect a whole manifesto (please, no manifestos), but you should at least provide some details as to why you hold the position you do.
Instance-wide rules always apply. https://legal.lemmy.world/tos/
Notice how every single "kink" you listed wasn't consenting? Those aren't kinks, they are crimes.
What two consenting adults enjoy is neither of our business but they shouldn't feel bad about enjoying it.
You can still be repulsed, but that's a you problem. Unless someone else is making it your problem by discussing it when you obviously don't like it.
I do agree with this in principle, but the line gets somewhat blurred around consent when there's things like people opening a conversation by telling you that they're into a particular type of kink or have such and such a relationship situation and how great it is, in an obvious bid to just boast about it, as if having lots of sex, and weird sex at that, was by-default admirable.
Maybe it's something they personally value, and that's fine I guess, but just because they think it's super cool that they do these kinky things, does not mean that everybody does.
And no, I'm not saying that I've been in a situation where somebody said "hi, my name is Carl and I love sucking girls' toes" right off the bat. That is obviously too explicit to be socially acceptable.
But there are situations where, say, you'll meet a couple and they immediately launch into how they're all about the ethical non-monogamy and polyamory and they have a daddy or a dungeon master or cuck shed or something that's just bizarrely out of left field that I never asked about and frankly don't want to know, and my opinion is that this should be seen as equally explicit as Carl's situation.
But this, like my original post, is starting to devolve into a personal rant rather than a generalized sentiment, so I'll stop.
The situation you described is effectively what I mean in the last sentence.
There's a difference between something being worthy of shame (your initial claim) and being admirable (what you're now implying the alternate position is). It's value neutral, maybe a bit on the plus side because I like that other people are living enjoyable lives.
It feels more like rationalizing a disgust response and saying the problem is external. You might recognize this as the same logic of homophobia and transphobia. I know this is coming from a dick head on the internet that is acting contentiously to your opinion, but I hope you'll reflect a little bit here. You seem well meaning.
Have you ever tried “I don’t like this topic” instead of “Shut the fuck up”?
The first one communicates your preference. It’s a statement about you. It leaves the ball in their court to decide what to do about this new information. Someone would have to be a big jerk to continue after you’ve said it that way. And if they are, it’s a great filter to decide whether to even spend time with them.
The second one is a command. Almost no one wants to be bossed around, so many take it as a challenge. It creates a power struggle. Your preference is hard to hear at that point.
I've never straight up told somebody to shut the fuck up about it to their face when it's been brought up. This was more of a rant than posting an opinion I guess.
I think the real problem is a lack of social hygiene.
Kinks aren't shameful. Revealing your kinks in public is, no matter how vanilla. Certain hobbies and habits should come with a little shame, not because they're bad, but because they should be private secrets that don't follow you to work or the grocery store
This!!! Exactly this is precisely what I really wanted to say now that I have a bit of a cooler head about it.
Right but that's also not kink shaming to tell someone to keep it to themselves
It's a bit like attacking someone's food preferences. One of the more commonly seen examples is pineapple on pizza: some love it, while others are absolutely as repulsed as you describe. It's just a matter of taste and personal preferences. Attacking others for liking pineapple opens the attackers up to being attacked for liking something else (e.g. olives).
In the end it's best just to accept that such variations in people keeps the world from being bland and boring. Variety, as they say, is the spice of life (assuming it's all above board as the other commenter mentioned).
I can fully understand this perspective, and having had a think about this, I realize that it's not up to me to be the morality police, and the line of thinking expressed in my original post is the root of such things as homophobia and other social discrimination.
Has another person stated, I think that to rephrase, the other side of the coin to my unpopular opinion would be that disgust is a perfectly valid reaction to people bringing up kinks unwanted, and disgust being viewed as stigmatic or problematic should not be the case.
okay well, paraphilias involving harm to others or non-consent aren’t fetishes. acted role play in a fantasy setting would be, because there is communication and boundaries. fetishes have emotional consistency whereas a paraphilia often feels overwhelmingly strong and like a compulsion. it is disordered and behavioral.
why should adults feel ashamed for accepting a fetish they have no control over having? what kind of purpose would shame serve upon doing so, preventing sexual fulfillment and gratification? as sexual people that would not be possible.
You confusing kinks with SA
Eating ass is and always has been disgusting, you can't change my mind.
Does that extend to all fellatio or specifically booty eating, asking for scientific purposes
There's a lid for every trash can. 🤷♂️
This is indeed an unpopular opinion
In the West, certainly.
Especially if it's public humiliation
Comments having more upvotes than your post. Good use of the thread, well done fellow lemming
Moral relativism says you can't! But yeah, of course many behaviours are shameful. I listen and I definitely judge, lol.
How about BDSM? Should those people be shamed as well?
For what they do in private, no.
But it's not always private, now is it?
Oh so you’re mainly talking about the people who are doing fetish stuff in the public? Other people didn’t consent to being exposed to that stuff, so I can see that there’s a problem in that.
you disgust me. you have sexual organs and aren't willing to use them to experience pleasure in new ways.
you're fucking gross.
how's that make you feel?
Ambivalent.
Pedophilia is no more kink than homosexuality is.
So people are born pedophiles?
Although what causes pedophilia is not yet known, researchers began reporting a series of findings linking pedophilia with brain structure and function, beginning in 2002. Testing individuals from a variety of referral sources inside and outside the criminal justice system as well as controls, these studies found associations between pedophilia and lower IQs, poorer scores on memory tests, greater rates of non-right-handedness, greater rates of school grade failure over and above the IQ differences, being below average height, greater probability of having had childhood head injuries resulting in unconsciousness, and several differences in MRI-detected brain structures.
Such studies suggest that there are one or more neurological characteristics present at birth that cause or increase the likelihood of being pedophilic.
Some yes.
Next time someone commits suicide and no one knows why, ask yourself. Did they realize that were a pedo and couldn't live with those feelings?
I know I should consider that option if I found myself having this thoughts/feelings
Go away,