When I get rich, I'm going to start washing my ass. Shit is going to be pristine. I'll be able to get within inches of you and you'll never even smell me.

Something I learned a long time ago: I should never, no matter the circumstances, be trusted with large sums of money.

I once came into a substantial amount of money via an insurance settlement. Did I invest it? Pay off debts? Create a rainy day fund? HA! Gambling, drugs, hookers, drugs for the hookers…I lived like Caligula for almost two years. Debauchery was my middle name. And if I ever came into money like that again, I’d do the exact same thing, because it was fucking awesome!

Learned in psychology class that people change when coming into money or power. No one reading this is exempt. People feel that laws and norms no longer apply to them. Being a middle-aged white guy is my "power". I ignore laws, nearly every day, that I wouldn't dare break if I were black or younger. This is not a thing I think about or do on purpose.

Can't remember the story, but a reporter was asking Hilary Clinton why she voted for $thing to be banned when she was actively doing $thing. Again, I'm forgetting the response, but she was a bit taken aback, "But that doesn't apply to me." College-age Hilary would not have acted like that.

My 🥭 is to 💥 and then 🤷‍♂️🙋🙋‍♀️

it's called material conditions sweaty, you wouldn't get it

Someone please help me what's that comic where one person is asked what they're going to do with their newly found wealth and the guy is like "I'm going to have sex with children"? I don't want to type these words into a search engine

"My main goal is to blow up and then act like I don't know nobody".

I can't recall the author of such an astute remark.

I do recall making my own version in relation to going to the local county fair.

"My main goal is to get a funnel cake and not share it with nobody".

Cause people always be like "let me have a bite. ". No. It's mine. Fuck off. Go stand in line for 15 min in direct sunlight.

Build my own theme park with black jack and hookers.

I'm too proud to let money change me, that's for hedonists and silly men of poor character. 😤

I would never stoop to these things. When I'm rich.

I'm middle class and I already do some of these.....

Are you gomna keep respecting laws? I'm not fuck it

I would move to a safe country, build a safety net for my kids and grandkids, and then give the rest away to food banks, low income housing organizations, those kinds of things.

i would absolutely be corrupted by wealth, it's just that it'd corrupt me into a mad train model enthusiast who buys a huge piece of land to construct a "model" resort with smol steam train-styled trams, which are fully functional and the whole thing just actually being a quite nice place to live full-time, simply because i desperately want to see it exist.

The mad part is that the old-timey cozy vibe is enforced by contract, everything is themed and you must dress accordingly and avoid obvious use of modern stuff while in public. Cars are verboten, as are e-bikes and scooters.