Technology

Will we also get a control valve back on our heads?

I know the internet lives the guy but no. Just no.

Suddenly this makes way more sense

TIL Valve is into brain chips.

Might be a bit of an unpopular opinion, but I don't really see a problem with brain implants. I wouldn't put anything in my brain in a thousand years, but if someone's willing to accept the risks, why not? They have the potential to significantly improve quality of life for many people.

"Alright, the implantation surgery was a success, now all we have to do is fire up the remote activation. Throwing the switch in three... two...

How the hell is this not the Onion?

I think we all know where this is going.

1. The Brainchip is trendy in Silicon Valley but doesn’t do much yet. The company says cyber-superintelligence will be available in a year, tops. Investors are pouring billions into it. Everyone says you need to hop on the trend now or you’ll be obsolete in six months.
2. It’s been two years. The Brainchip still struggles to control a mouse or search Google. Everyone’s lost interest in building apps for it. Many users are reporting severe migraines, but the company says there’s nothing to worry about.
3. The Brainchip pipes three unskippable ads directly to your optic nerve every time you go to the bathroom. Notifications ping your brain all day long. You can get it removed if you’ve got $80k to burn, but there’s a high risk of postoperative stroke.

Yeah, no, I’m not putting anything in my brain that isn’t open-source from end to end. And even then probably nah.

Finally the logo makes sense

He’ll only be able to make the first prototype, and then a second. He will never make it to 3.

They should make a big facility to test the implants

Yeah no thanks

Not advocating for our against but 2 thoughts here:

1: Gabe isn't Musk. Yes money etc but don't immediately jump there without other malfeasance please. Caution absolutely but don't ascribe one rich assholes shit to another.

2: He probably has hard data on accessibility... Possibly more than nearly anyone else. There's a HUGE portion of the population that can't use "traditional" controllers or other input devices. And that's not even going into the medical realm.

Could game Gabe be starting his villain phase? Sure! But until more negative details come out I'm just hoping this is investments he'd use toward a new steam controller.

Billionaires should not exist

HL3 is going to be launched with Valve's brain chip.

They don't even have to make the game. The chip will convince you that you have already played the game and it's the best game ever.

If it solves my tinnitus, I'm all for it.

The only condition under which I wouid ever consider getting a neural implant, is if the implant and its software is open source.

Any closed source thing you stick in your brain will ultimately doom you.

Besides that, there'd also actually have to be a purpose. As it stands now, cybernetics isn't advanced enough to turn me into a full cyborg, so probably never in my lifetime.

"As part of your onboarding process, we're just going to implant your Company ID. That way, for your safety, we'll always know where you are. If you hear a buzzing sound, that means return to the office immediately. Reduced work speed will produce a mild reminder shock.

"Welcome to the Corporation."

Headlines you didn't expect to read. Rather a Gabe chip than at Musk chip for sure

That picture 😂

"Now, if you're part of Control Group Kepler-Seven, we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there, but if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test, let us know, because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees, so we're gonna need to go ahead and get that out of you pretty fast." - Cave Johnson

Oh no. You either die the hero, or...

The fact that most people would obviously never want to get a brain chip implant, combined with the fact that multiple billionaires are developing brain chip implants, indicates that there are plans in some circles to incentivize or coerce people into getting a brain chip implant at some point in the future.

Last time I checked, the "brain implants" from Valve looked like this:

Thumbnail is lit af

"has long toyed with the idea that your brain should be more connected to your PC"

seems like billionaires' wet dream to be honest