altphoto

joined 1 week ago
[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 3 points 4 days ago

Forced legal indoctrination.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 8 points 4 days ago

Wow! But don't you all worry, as soon as one of us gets sick or dies, we'll know who hot food poisoning. And we'll continued eating it up. Did I miss anything? Like maybe reacting differently to such an event? Nah! That's why chicken is so expensive! Its all the chlorine!

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

How does Jesus help? I though he was on a forever vacation.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 1 points 5 days ago

The suit is not finished, but we'll send the missing parts a few days later! Promise! Wink wink!

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 3 points 5 days ago

I want to see proof that there's no worm in his knuckle.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 7 points 5 days ago (7 children)

I'm out of thoughts and prayers. How about some jokes or a riddle?... George Carling was the greatest!

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 5 points 5 days ago (2 children)

....oh OK, very nice Mr...what did you said your name was?

Oh, one last question before we give you a pilots license, have you or will you have in the future a husband or wife or close relatively living in captivity at the moment?

Is the captivity legal or illegal, please explain.

Have had to purchase a rope ladder or just copious amounts of rope from the home Depot recently?

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

And we let him. I propose a sea burial. But let him try to explain fir...nah get in the box!

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 5 points 5 days ago

I'm sure all the hardworking engineers, assemblers, office workers, sales people, materials, programmers, hardware, research people are super ecstatic about having their CEO turn their brand new product from an awesome big ass piece of shit electric washed environment destruction truck into a product nobody wants.

Like probably you'll see one of my fellow citizens running around town with a bunch of lawn mowers and leaf blowers in one of these pretty soon. How much did you pay for that shit man? Oh I got it cheap on Craigslist for $3K!

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 1 points 5 days ago

Colbert didn't even break a sweat.

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