The only thing I do is makeup. It's a skill that takes time to learn, so it accomplishes consumption of time, gender affirmation, and self-improvement.
lazyneet
joined 1 year ago
I sympathize with these feelings, and I'm sorry you've had to wait so long to get this taken care of. Be confident that it isn't that far in the future.
As for my experiences, I can personally relate to gender dysphoria but not genital dysphoria. I missed out on a lot of gay experiences when I was younger because, while I've always liked dicks, I've never seen masculinity as a positive trait, and the one gay guy I knew in high school was very masc and went to the gym and stuff. I'm dating another transfem with a similar background to my own, and (perhaps because they look more feminine than I do and have stronger dysphoria) they're asking me to boymode, which I hadn't done in about a year. I do it because I care about them and desperately need that relationship. (Abandonment issues.) Plus it's just something different.
My suggestion, beyond taking solace in the fact that you have a surgery planned, is to spend time with a partner, be it someone who is trans or someone who understands the trans experience more than a completely cis person. Intimacy with someone you're attracted to and know and understand can be therapeutic.
I'm sorry you're going through that. Since we're sharing... A few years ago, I (amab) started feeling really uncomfortable being called a "man" and especially the honorific "sir", so I adopted the nonbinary label in online communities to avoid any kind of gendering. But it wasn't enough, and almost a year after that I learned makeup techniques and bought some fem clothes at a thrift store, and things kept going in that direction without any attempt on my part to hide it.
I'm not sure I understand the truly genderless perspective of people I've known, but the desire to remove cisgendered attributes from one's self is the part that resonates with me. My facial hair, my voice, and my height are all nasty reminders. I boymode when explicitly asked to (like by my partner, who is the same as me) but I don't think I could tolerate a setting or organization trying to make me present as cis-het. I'm basically fem every day in a town that has some trouble respecting that, but I'm also attending a college where this is fairly normal.
Cutie <3
I never watched. I feel like there should be shows in the "new adult" category that focus more on gay dating clubbing drama and sex, with less focus on tragedy and high school bs. It's strange to be like an exotic species in the media when irl half of the people I run into are openly queer. I don't mean to judge but the way the book and show are marketed seems strange to me
Speak for yourself. I'm a transfem who also identifies as a femboy and wants to be fetishized and satisfy the curious. 🥺
A few months I was walking, possibly jaywalking, and someone shouted "removed!" out of their car window as they passed me. That was probably the only time I've ever passed for cis.