memes

Okay....

So I bought a handheld garment steamer for knitting projects and for steaming wrinkles out of clothes from storage or whatever. I, like most people, had been hearing about vaginal steaming for some time with mixed bafflement and curiosity. One brisk November night alone in my apartment, I was eyeing the device and I figured, whats the harm, why not give it a try?

So I fill the steamer with water from the tap and set it on the floor and take a seat in my swivel chair a safe distance in front of it, disrobed from the waist down. The steamer heats up slowly, and I slide forward a bit as the seductive white vapor emerges with increasing force. After five minutes of carefully steaming my dick, balls and ass with an increasing look of delight on my face, I'm a convert.

If you ever have that kind of week where they're feeling sticky or sweaty, you've got aching, vaguely itchy balls or it's all just lacking that certain je ne sais quoi, and a shower doesn't help, the steam does something amazing to open the pores, make all the assorted skin and sinew of one's nether regions toned and glowing and you sweat away all the soap and sweat residue and whatnot in a way that showering or bathing could never approach. It's shocking, I can't fully explain how renewing it is, or why, but it works, almost on a spiritual level. I've never mentioned this to another soul and doubt I ever will.

I'm actually filling up the steamer now despite the heat as it's been a few months since my last foray into pelvic steaming and I yearn for that soothing, forbidden relaxation. I will sleep like a baby tonight.

Oh, and do it away from electronics, I bricked a desktop by getting too much second-hand steam in it one day.

just tape a garden hose to your dick?