this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2025
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Even the capitalist hubris is done wrong.
They knew how to activate the dwarfism gene. They could have been selling pygmy raptors and rexes as pets to everyone. At the right size they'd be no more dangerous than dogs or cats.
But no; we need a theme park that eats people.
How am I supposed to ride a pigmy T-rex into battle, wielding two m16s, and screaming "America!", then?
Chariots, string the t-rexes together like sled dogs, though now I think about it raptors might be better suited.
Okay, the chance to become a deranged santa-esque madman with pigmy T-rexes instead of reindeer is too good to pass up. Sign me up for 8!