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To what extent are you still involved with those you resent?
Honestly, it might be best to be away for a while and figure out if you even want them in your life and if so, what needs to change to help ensure there's not gas being poured on the resentment and ongoing harm occurring.
You gotta figure out what's best for you and to do that, you sort of need to find the rules necessary to help you stop similer behaviors and people in the future from recreating those harms and to level up the way you signal to others for how you are to be treated.
Next time you feel a reaction or unexplained intense feeling, try to figure out when it arose and what it was in response to. Try to expressit as I need x but got y and think about what can be requested or enforced to ensure it is corrected, althonyou will likely want a therapist or at least ask dispassionate audience for key issues and try to focus on just the facts so you can learn to make sense of these situations better
Its gonna be a little temporary pain and awkwardness as you find your bearings but it will improve basically every area of your life and help you more gracefully deal with relational challenges, at the end of the day tho, you have to be prepared to communicate what you need and expect and understand that some relationships that are fundamentally antithetical to that will not and shouldn't survive you pursuing these things.