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One of the things people constantly disagree with me about is children. Specifically how hard it really is to raise one, and that everyone isn’t meant to have them.
Many people don’t understand that where children begin, you end. There isn’t going to be time for things you used to do on your own time, at your own leisure. There are no natural born parents, people that can function on little sleep and overwhelming circumstances. You give up peace, money, autonomy and you don’t stop parenting until you’re gone. There are a large number of people who feel like one day, they’ll become a parent and that will be their identity. Some people start their journey in parenthood wholeheartedly believing their child is an extension of themselves; not a developing, unique person that may or may not be completely different- like no one else in the family.
Having children is the most important job that you will ever have. You don’t get to quit when you realize that maybe you aren’t cut out for it. That’s why it’s important to know yourself, and work on your trauma and shortcomings before they bleed into your children. If you aren’t prepared to make sure they have the absolute best you can provide them in all aspects of life; why are you having them? If you aren’t ready to let your priorities fall to the wayside while you guide a tiny human into themselves, you aren’t prepared.