this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2026
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Mental Health

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How to stop work anxiety impacting the rest of my life? (feddit.uk)
submitted 1 day ago by ambitiousslab@feddit.uk to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I'm a people pleaser. I have anxiety and depression thanks to some trauma. I've been in therapy for a little over a year.

Objectively, I'm doing ok at work. I have always met expectations. However, it takes a lot out of me. I always try to meet people's expectations because disappointing people feels unbearable. Because of the ability to break things, I often shirk responsibility and make myself unreliable in subtle ways

My experience in work has a big impact on my wellbeing outside. Due to forcing my way through the anxiety, I feel very tired and often have to rest (lying down in the dark, not interacting with anyone) for several hours on evenings and weekends.

At the moment, I am lying in bed most of the day and having 2-3 panic attacks per day (by panic attack, I mean that my heart starts beating really strongly and quickly, and my breathing feels like it's running away from me).

I think my difficulties are almost certainly related to the trauma. I have a lot of trepidation around, and fawn a lot with the colleagues that set me tasks, even though I can see objectively that I am not in any danger.

I have been trying to set more boundaries, be more upfront and stop this fawning. I am making some (slow) progress, but I still have a real lack of energy outside of work, and spend a lot of time anxious about the next working day. It's impacting my life a great deal.

Does anyone have any similar experiences, or ideas of how to stop these situations from having such a big effect on the rest of my life?

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[–] Paragone@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

2 levers which work, but are likely nonobvious:

mindfulness-practice & HIIT fitness ( aim to bring it up to 24-minutes or so? )

The HIIT needs a bit of clarification, though:

do some high-intensity fitness, until your heart-rate is up around 85%, NO more than 90%, of your max heart-rate..

then put the kettlebell(s)/running/whatever down, & wait until your heart-rate is about 4/3 of your resting-rate, then go back into the intensity again..

it's all heart-rate, and has NOTHING to do with seconds/reps/whatever.

If you're ill from a cold, your heart-rate will tell you that your immersions are shorter, but no clock will, see?

Heart-rate's adaptive.

Anyways, just do it so you're finding your healing, NOT so you're battering yourself into aversion-therapy, which .. will only make you hate it, right?

Anyways, if you combine both of those levers, & accept that it takes 1-season/quarter for such to make noticeable-results, then you should find your health moving away from induced-anxiety-centrism, to something more enduringly good.

_ /\ _