this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2026
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That's a great point. Projection and context are powerful. An example I can personally recall from memory is: before I knew about what Bill Cosby had done, I thought his silly style/demeanor was endearing. At some point after I knew, I remember seeing a clip where (IIRC) he's going into court and there's media on him trying to get pictures and such and as he walks by he goes "hey hey hey!" to the camera. Like the "Fat Albert" thing. And seeing him doing that goofiness in the context of the seriousness of the situation turned it on its head. What was endearing before looked, in that moment, like "teehee I'm getting away with this and I'm too rich at this point for you to do much."
But generalizing into physical appearance as bad rather than deeds is part of how racism functions and turns "one person did documented wrong" into "others who look like they are probably doing so as well." Even in spite of systemic racism, Bill Cosby was beloved by many. By appearances alone, you'd never guess. But once you know, then you start going back and being like "well there were signs..." And it's like, well were there? Maybe there were in some cases, but how obvious were the signs?
I think a large part of why abusers get away with they do is not because of obvious missed signs that people were looking for, but because of 1) severely lacking interest in keeping an eye on others and the kind of relations they are having with each other. Which I'd attribute largely to hyper individualism and alienation in current day. And 2) a cultural tendency to protect and elevate abusers instead of confronting them. Which ties into the broader issue of systemic exploitation and how abuse is not an issue of individuals acting out, but one of a whole system culturing abusive behavior and sending it to the highest halls of power.